Monday, January 30, 2006

happy cny everyone
e past 2 days have been great
spending time visiting. although i dun exactly converse with my relatives. i guess the idea of being surrounded by relatives itself was great.just watching them, in their joyous mood, in their world of mahjong, busy stuffing themselves with new yr goodies,cracking an ocassional joke every now n then was a good feeling.it takes ur mind off stuff. away frm the burden of life,school n every other stuffs.
relatives lament that i am too skinny. but i must emphasize. i eat wat i can. and most importantly. its only my arms that are a tad too thin. i m not well proportionate. if u notice harder. n i m confident of a wt gain after new yr. i have been pigging out on the oh-so-delicious pineapple tarts n new yr goodies, ranging from sweets to chips to peanuts to cookies. n not to mention the countless round of steamboat n the massive amt of meat, fishballs,scallop,squid and more MEAT consumption.
but NO. no CHOCOLATE. not even a single piece.
but i must admit. sometimes my appetite gets really bad n i can survive a day with very little food. esp when i m moody or piss off. its like. i dun even have to eat. haha
and then. i realise. i m old. honestly.i used to be the generation of kids running ard screaming n playing games. but now. i m watching little kids do that. someone commented that in a few yrs time. i will b the one giving hongbaos. but i highly doubt so. given my not so great calibre. my weirdness. i doubt marriage will come so soon. and love is so unreal at times..but i haf plans alr. since they say if a woman doesnt get married by 30, then ITE already. i intend to join SDU at 28, allowing them a yr or so to matchmake me and by 30,i will grab anyone that comes to me.hahaha of cos if that day comes, i'd rather go vietnam to find a husband.

and as for now.its time to get back to reality.
e pseudo carefree n lighthearted days are over

Friday, January 27, 2006

every now n then
the same old feeling creeps back
it's silly thinking that some stuffs would change

preharps i shd explain why i detest sch
mainly bcos
sch is lonely n disgusting
i dun have people to hang out with. close frends.somtimes. i dun even feel like i m in a relationship. everyday i listen to lectures full of weird stuffs. n leave the lectures full of doubts.
in a way
sch has made me detached frm the world
old friends whom i dun haf time to go out with
subsequently. everyone.seems to haf drifted away frm me

my lecturers haf decided to reward us with new yr hongbaos. by giving us tests on the 15th n 16th of feb.
just a while back
went wif mum to the supermarket. n watch as everyone.do last min shopping. could fill the joyous mood ard me. but not in me. my semi hols mood. ended today. with memoirs of a geisha. a movie. i just haf to watch. n i know. after new yr. everything reverts back to the past. mugging. just mugging. no more.gg out.and talking to the wall. sometimes banging it. if i feel like it.haha

just another gloomy night
that i weave a picture of gloom fer myself
n talks incoherently
and from memoirs of geisha
a description i vaguely rem frm the movie

the heart is dead
with hopes taken away
just like a tree sheding its leaves
until there are no leaves left

Thursday, January 26, 2006

disappointments, and only more of it
what is holding me back really?

anyway
more stuffs to ponder about
my exchange program to US has been approved more or less except fer 1-2 changes in modules
n suddenly i am grippled with confusion and fear
the notion of being all alone doing horrible n difficult modules alone in some university

i guess........i will just take things as it comes.....it all goes well with the application...i guess i will go.....n if my application screw up at the final stage..den so be it.

life
is so full of contradictions.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

crys is right
there are too many pretty girls in singapore. the only way to stand out is to be ugly!!

and then u know how sometimes. stray cats are very irritating. they are mean. ugly. attack u fer no reason. there was once i was chased by a fierce stray cat fer no reason n had to run to hide. so the thing is that cats are mean, and no one likes cats.cats are detestable.just like me.i wonder if spca accepts stray cats. n if pple will adopt next time

crap aside. matlab is driving mi bonkus.well although chi new yr is coming. which reminds me. i hereby resolve not to buy any more clothes. take that as my chinese new yr resolution. sigh..and taht aside.probabaly to ne nice to pple.even if they r not.

yestreday i went on a never ending ride ard city hall n bugis. entering 3 erp fer no reasons. just cos i lost my way n missed 2 carpark of bugis junction n raffles city
n last sat. i cldnt be more glad my bro had his p plate on the car. cos i was at tm. n sigh. i was stuck at a parking lot fer prob 5-10 min.with a few cars waiting behind. it was painful i know.watcjing mi park. i felt the pain too...sighz..i have no idea wat i m doing these days anihow it seems.............ughhhh!

And all the roads we have to walk along are windingAnd all the lights that lead us there are blindingThere are many things that I would Like to say to youI don't know how

Sunday, January 22, 2006

sometimes looking back at the past saddens me
its like.reading ur old diary. looking back at things back then
i dunno y. i feel a tinge of sadness.maybe its the realisation that some things will never be the saem again...........


extreme monday blues
seems like every night b4 i slp.
i weave a picture of gloom fer myself
i like the weeks leading up to new yr
at least. i still have an excuse to slack.shop.
after new yr
its. full time mugging.
well... i guess.....life's like that

Friday, January 20, 2006

n den i am feeling a little nauseous now. head throbbing in slight pain.mind swirling n full of stuffs...matlab. diferential eq.heat. kinetics.dynamics.tutorials.mid term on the 16th of feb. i feeling a little overwhelmed. n unwell. probably. the effect of staring at stuffs fer a day. this feeling is similar to the disgusting feeling i get after eating chocolate.maybe i m a dog.bcos dog cannot eat chocolate. they will die. i m seeing stars. sighz..........yup.its only the 2nd week of school.
i need a rest. or maybe. retail therapy. but if i continue to do so. i'll enuff clothes to last till 2010. n till den. all the stuffs will b out fashion alr. sighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, January 19, 2006

i know i m pretty weird at times
today
i was standing beside a rubbish bin, trying to fish out the remaining of my packet of prawn cracker. mayb i looked a little weird. as if i haf just dug the packet of crackers frm the dustbin. bcos this classmate of mine was staring at me. in a rather weird manner.

n den.... i got a little moody again. n the funny thing was. i know i m in a bad mood.but i dunno why. so on the bus. i kept asking myself. y m i feeling so bad.

n then of cos there are times where i say things that are just so weird.

2nd week into sch
n its suffocating me alr=(
well at least chi new yr is coming

Monday, January 16, 2006

ok so i heard the great news fer crys
sharon!@@#@#! hahaha

poei took mi on a dangerous ride today
well
1st he got horned fer well....abrupt lane changing near nus.he wanted to lane change into a car. haha
after which
he missed the ecp exit n went to cte
nxt he stopped in the middle of a road. bcos he couldnt lane change in order to get to some exit
den, he lane change to the left lane n fer some unknown reason, lane changed back to his own lane thinking its the same lane
nxt the sign says road work at lane 3.so i told him.dun lane change into lane 3.ok
so at abt 100m towards the site of road work,he lane changed into lane 3 ,
probabaly to the amusement of the driver behind
n the nxt thing he did was he knocked down 3-4 cones the workers haf put up.
hahahhaha i laughed till i cried.

n to lala: take care be strong k. regrets are inevitable in life. just cherish those ard u more. i'll keep ur advice in mind n do the same too.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

experienced sthg that din make me feel gd today
was at u2 today payingfer stuufs
in front of mi was 2 banglas...or rather foreign workers.
so app...they were paying fer some shirts
n there was some mistake cos they thot the shirts were $13 each n it turned out to b $19
what got me alittle angry was the attitude of the 2 cashiers. they were extremely rude n impatient when the two men asked abt the price differences. n u know how most foreign workers cant converse well in english.n so they were a bit loss n din know what to say. prob he din want the shirts animore. but the evil cashier just thrust the NETS machine to him n ask fer his pin number. n so the poor man had no choice but to pay fer the shirts.
after he paid. i could see. him n his other friend. gg back to where the shirts were placed. looking n checking the price.
after which i overheard some mockery frm the two cashiers
one of them said"game over" probabaly meaning there is nothing the 2 men could do now since they haf paid fer e shirts. n the 2 of them were laughing.almost as if they were sneering at them.
i dunno. i just felt sad. n aghasted. by the 2 salesgirl
i dun think they should b so mean. after all.come on. these foreign workers are not rich n they sweat n toil fer every cent of their money.
sure. they do not have a gd reputation. u know.all the molest cases at all the countdown stuufs
but mayb. everything goes full circle u know. u be mean to them. n in return. they b mean to u.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

these days
it just feeels so cold
the weather. people ard. life.

sometimes
i wonder
howmany of us treat people with sincerity
or do we
be nice to others
fer the sake of being deem as a nice person

feels sad somehow
maybe its sch=(

Monday, January 09, 2006

tumultous 1st day of sch
the feeling just isnt gd

bleah
long tiring day
sighz. if any of u are ever out with me.. n i look kinda stone or quiet all of a sudden..pls dun assume that i am dao or i m in a bd mood or i dun enjoy yer company or having u ard
sometimes. i m just too tired to smile. so i just stone in my own corner.n mind my own business

trying to get back into some studying mood. haiz. its like. changing my lifestyle all over again.

life's fragile
cherish all ur love ones ard u. really.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

n so today marks the official end of hols

this hols
i must say was filled with nice memories.
~~all the acksx outing, stay over at crys's house, the kiteflying,xmas celebration,birthday celebration,ktv session,new yr celebration, the bitching, the shopping sessions... all the fun=).. i love u guys=)
~~ the ah sohs. shopping wif my new foound shopping kaki weiyi a.k.a ah soh 1.the xmas celebration at clarke quay..had fun just chilling out n gg on an adventurous ride..hope 2 see u guys again soon
~~ the one at home...playing maple...shopping..gg to the market n cooking ktv...playing with teddies.haha
~~the boy...our ups n down..our weird outings..ok i love u too.haha
~~the maple kakis. esp lala..gang-banging n scolding pple.(lala poei n taptap rawks!)=D
~~6B. the gathering.the buddy sw..the msia trip wif sw, rabbit n yj

and so.. as quoted frm lala. memories will fade but love will stay=D
see u guys all real soon!
life is a tragedy full of joys

had my fair share of fun
time to get back to my mugging mood.to b serious again. bye maple. bye bye to the outside world.haha.
not exaggerating.being in chem eng. does not permit fer any life outside sch. my nxt 4 mths will b filled with books n more books


to digress
having roamed the world these days
i gained "insights" to many things
1) i HATE it when pple yaWN and open their mouth to show the entire world their teeth. i think its quite rude. n ITS worse when they have bad breath!gawd. can faint u know.
2) and if u haf a gf, nvr make her buy food fer u. nonono. its sad to see a girl, carrying a tray containing 2 bowls of noodles, walking with difficulty. n the tray mildy shaking
3)i feel extreme sympathy for fat babies. those poor little cute chubby looking things dun know what they are in for when they grow up.yes. they look so cute now. their mum so proud of them. wait till they grow up. n reach 100kg.

i think i haf gained weight
haven been controlling my diet la. haha i just eat n eat.
but its ok la. i feel sad too when i see gals trying too hard to lose weight.

a rather long post... =(

Friday, January 06, 2006

every now n then
i turn into a monster
n break my resolution of trying to b nicer to my friends

being kinda feeling down these days
thanks to sch
which starts in 3 days time
and my screwed up sep application=(

so the week was spent
meeting up wif friends fer well the last time b4 sch starts
the acksx, the boy, the ah soh
i wish i haf time fer evryone else

ok of cos i m trying to break away frm com games
butthese days the 1st thing i do when i wake up is to on the com
n intuitively, i click on the maple icon
spent the night before with bro n a friend quarelling wif a bunch of people on maple
was apalled at their lack of general knowledge. ha a tad too childish hur.haha

well
4 mths of crap
n i will be free

i have learned to live each day as it comes
and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow

too bad.the above does not applies to me just yet

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

can't really describe
how i am feeling right now
maybe sad=(

thesedays
i can just be in my own world even when i m out with people
almost as if evryone ard me turned insignificant

i realise
i dun interact well in big groups



sch starting
guess
its time
i go into my own world fer the rest of e week
n roam the streets of singapore again
been too caught up with my com games
dat i skipped a class outing

Monday, January 02, 2006

shots frm new yr eve with acksx at east coast
Image hosted by Photobucket.comme!

Image hosted by Photobucket.comus=P

Image hosted by Photobucket.comus!=)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com'macho' man aloy

Image hosted by Photobucket.comthey dun want me.sob.see the two BIMBO nxt to me??! haha

Sunday, January 01, 2006

so these days even as i try not to think abt the fact that sch is starting in ONE weeks' time, it appears that it is hard to do so
even as i decide to go shopping, fate has it that i meet NUS people
today,for example, i met ghost girl.ya if u haf forgotten her, she's e one who wears a long white dress n walk up n down the aisle of the lecture theatre
no she dun recognise me.duh.but the sight of her seems to send me an invisble msg "HEy ITS ME GHOST GIRL.U ARE GONNA SEE ME IN NUS IN A WEEK TIME"

and den today i realise y some people get hacked to death
u see
my mum n i was waiting fer the bus at the interchange
u know how sumtimes u dun join the queue but just wait at the side when the bus comes
so we waited at the side fer the pple in e queue to get up
n one FAT kingkong guy who looks fugly thought my mum was trying to cut queue
so he yelled"oi queue up lar"
u see. if i were some gangster ah beng or frm the tua pek gong society
he probably wld haf been hacked to death by now

these days
i seem to have abandon the world for my games
let me stay away from reality.....=(