Wednesday, October 31, 2007

November. And the end of semester gets close. 26 days to finals. These days, i just feel really dispirited, disillusioned and deflated. It's almost like i lost alot of my drive and motivation in life, like someone burst the balloon. But if anyone did, it's probably me.


Met crys in NUS yesterday. We were talking about what to do after we graduate next year. I did mention a while back i was pretty excited and want to get out of school. But really, i am not so sure now, and in fact, am dreading it. For some strange reasons known only to myself, I lost the motivation and drive. Suddenly, i feel lost and unsure of my own goals and what i want to do. I was reading this book that named the way i have been feeling about people as benevolent misconception. Maybe.


Anyway on why crys is getting bimbo:
1) she thought i really did kiss aloy.
2) crys(on wondering what to do with her Psychology degree) : " I want to a job that don't need me to use my brain"
kl: " got ah! BIMBO"

Other random stuff
Girls should rise up to oppression. I believe in equality in rlship. I am speaking this not from personal experience. But a friend was telling me abt her bf. Apparently, he loves making her feel jealous by constantly hanging out with girls, sending them home, taking pretty intimate photos with them, like hugging them. !!!.
And that said, he forbade her from going out with any guys. Not even her guy friends.
He forbade her from being late when they meet. But on the other hand, he is allowed to late.
Where got such stuff right! If the guy go out with girls and hug them, naturally the girl should be allowed to find some flings too! If he's hugging some girl, go find a cute guy to hug too! if he's sending a girl home, find a cuter guy to send u home!
Actually, i am just musing, the tit for tat theory mentioned above don't work and shouldnt be tried.
I am personally ok with guy who are attached going out with girl friends.


Actually, i think most girls will prefer a sense of security. Jealousy is by itself, a sign of insecurity.Maybe by making her feel jealous, he gets rid of his self doubts.

But,
It's good to still be able feel something other than indifference.

Monday, October 29, 2007

My fave cousin is getting married like next month. It's gonna be a church wedding, combined with chinese wedding. =). He's 26. She's 23( so young! )
Bird says i will feel the urge or need to settle down when i start work. Haha. I still intend to have a few more years of freedom though ;)


My uncle has the weirdest request! He asked if i could drive the bridal car! Thats COOL right! BUT ME?! Erm, yup, but i am worried we would end up in Johor and miss the auspicious time.
Not a bad idea though, we can then go there for seafood. Used to go to JB like yearly..but seems like in recent years, escalating crime rate has changed people's perspective of traveling to Msia.

The one thing i love about singapore is just being able to walk the streets without much fear, and not worry about being alone on the streets when the sky turns dark. Yes, i worried about that when overseas, largely due to the sense of unfamiliarity.

Anyhow, there's just one problem. I have my Finals in that week! If not i will jump at the chance to drive his bridal car! SIGH!! But i just said yes, because i tell u--Aunties and Uncles ARE MY GREATEST FEAR. Be it parents of friends, or my relatives, whatever. I can't communicate with them. I'll be extremely polite and yet say the dumbest thing to them.

But i am pretty happy and excited for him. Cos we were pretty close when we were young. I used to go to their place every week when i was young and play games like watergun, soccer. ( I will never forget the time he poured a pail of water over me in the lift!)
Haha ok that explains the unfeminine side of me. I never was feminine though, my parents made me do all kind of sports when i was a kid and i was more interested in sports. If i have a daughter next time, i will make sure she is more feminine.haha

Congrats anyway! Woot!






just a post for ACKSX. I know all of u are under stress. Not that gd myself. But anyhow, UNGLAM PICS OF EVERYONE! (except me.haha)
And yup, will post ALoy's Sadako story soon!








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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Rendition--A mind boggling movie that fills your mind with questions throughout the show. Perfect for those who are feeling dumb and need to exercise their brain.
Liked the show though and the dry sense of humor.
So apparently, chemical engineers have the knowledge to construct a bomb. Sorry, but, the best i can do for you is to calculate how long you need to cook that turkey in the oven.
And once again, the notion that you can never know a person truly and wholly, not even the person you love or the person dearest to you. Really an echo of what i have been feeling.
And the end of the day, you can only hope that the hidden-self you discover isn't something that will hurt you terribly. ( the girl in the show fell in love with a (hot-bod) guy who turns out to be a terrorist)
Relationship involves some kind of risk but that shouldn't deter you from one. As much as we hope that others can be honest and open about stuff, it is not going to happen. Some kind of relational dialectics of openness/closeness.

Anyhow back to mugging.
Just thought of posting something not so gloomy.

Don't stop the music, ayo technology--some feel-good song.

Friday, October 26, 2007

my actions and feelings aint coherent anymore.
i don't know what i am doing anymore
I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way


And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

-Shadow of the Day ( Linkin Park)


I am O.K. Just that i will probably never look at you the same way anymore.
Then again, i have no right to feel this way.
Sat,sun, mon. Some peace and rest finally. Been clocking too little sleep. 5hrs yesterday. Crawling out of bed. Stuck in a 45 min jam( thanks alot, just what i need to brighten up my day), late for presentation for 45min. Resident Evil 3. Retail therapy. Sums up friday.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I need to do things and occupy myself with stuff to not let all those negative emotions overcome me and feeling disgusted by the stuff i chanced upon unknowingly & stupidly..Thats the way i handle bad mood. I hope it works this time.


I don't like you.
It's amazing how i can dislike someone as easily as i like someone.

The same old quagmire. I have had enough. Maybe now, i am out of it for good

I hope you guys like the photos. There's many many many more. After i am done with part 2, i will upload them of facebook. If i am free.


And The more i try, the less i feel
Drifting away...... but i aint stopping myself this time round. not anymore

[and for the 100th time, don't ask me who what how. and dont go about assuming things. ]

ok i am outta here. world peace.
This is...
The start of the end...

ok this one's for u aloy.. i hoped ur 21st was memorable,albeit in the wrong way . The yummy-licious cake, i heart ice cream cake, so make sure u all buy ice cream cake for my bday ok. just joking.And i was such a avid fan of aloy that i photos of his entire cake cutting process.Step-by-step guide. 1)pose. 2) make a wish- but i don't know why he is grimacing in pain. i know. it must have been a pain deciding which meimei to choose. 3) put all ur saliva on da cake 4)act suave when cutting cake. 5) eat da cake.on ur face. wahaha

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photos with all my lovely girlies.. i know the lighting sux.


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aloy with his pretty jas and karen., ACKSX minus X. aloy with his knighta-jon and bryan, and us all!


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i don't know what was sharon doing. drinking her bailey and getting stone. anyhow. thats the end of my photos. part 1 is tthe sober and normal part. Tune in to part 2 many mnay days from now for more. Part 2-- Aloysius, the new Sadako. Where we will enjoy pictures of him looking like sadako, crawling around. And of course, everyone else in unglam moments.


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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

feeling dumb.

about screwing up my viva-i really don't know what i was thinking when i answered that qn. One word for myself. dumb.
about getting the dates of my tests wrong--it's not next week. 2 more week. i don't even know the days anymore.yay.
about people-- thinking you know them well, only to realize things about them that get u down. thanks for making me feel dumb too. (no not u, lala)

i can't tolerate my own dumb--ness.
i hate this.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

RAIKKONEN!! YAY
That was like the most awesome race ever...
yea i know i have to post more pics soon and give everyone lotsa screen time esp aloy ..gimme a while. got lotsa tests coming.
but today, i pretty much exist in a semi-daze state, really dead..->stare at notes,lolling in bed, stare at notes, feeling lethargic.
Probably, the effect of the stuff i drank and e 2hrs of sleep set in--> a day later.
Gotta watch the Brazillian Grand Prix n cute raikkonen now. (dam drama-mama!! just don't let Alonso win.......)


Baby it's a new age,
you're like my new craze

Let's get together maybe we can start a new phase

Saturday, October 20, 2007

HAPPY 23rd to Poei!
Happy 21st to Aloy!The latets pics will be posted soon once i have the time. I promise to do up a really nice post. Clocked just 2 hrs of sleep yesterday, i am surprised i am still alive now...maybe i will drift off to wonderland soon..but must S-tu--dy---cannot--sleep.
Here's a story of me and aloy. Aloy's like the nicest guy friend ever because he has never scolded me, or made me angry or be mean to me( at least not till recently)..And he even wrote to me when i was in US. But despite knowing each other for 7 years, he is still perpetually scared of me and very polite and shy in front of me. Whenever we take phoots, he is scared to come near me. hahah
WE met way back in 2001 at bedok swimming pool where we trained.I didnt really notice him cos i don't look at cute guy when i am training ( haha yea right).
WE actually knew each other through crystal. Soon we came to be ICQ n SMS mates,( he didnt even dare to talk or say hi to me at the pool la) and after quite some time, we started to talk to each other on the phone and then we became friends--going to lan shop after training, playing gb. But I don't know how the five of us became close and why it was the five of us. I miss those times spent in the pool.
Anyhow cheers to 7 years of friendship, and many more years to come;)
Best wishes and have a great 21st. I hope u did, despite being smashed with cake and semi conscious for most of the night. =P
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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Watched The Brave one, that changed my impression of NYC a little but i still adore the vibrant city alot.
Hee Ah Soh, looks like we are really pretty much going through the same stuff and feeling the same way.Enjoyed yer company today!

Cherry's bday today! Was looking at some photos and i found this pretty cute one. Like family outing! haha
I was also reminded e same day, a year ago.
A rather weird looking girl arrived at FC 6327 -house to a freaky but cute guy to bake cake. That poor guy endured hours of sarcastic comments from the girl. Thereafter, she met the mistress, an evil brother, and the freaky guy became her dadee and a dysfunctional family soon exist.
A year after, although this dysfunctional family has splitted, but hopefully, in time to come, there will be new members-like a SISTER-in-law, a mistress-in law and more mumees!

The things you love,
each time you try to let go of parts of them,
you feel a part of you dying away as well

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Sitting at Engine Canteen, eating yong tau foo, i was reminded me of a friend. I couldnt help but feel sad and disappointed.
Living up to other's expectation isn't the hardest. It's about living with yourself. In life, the simplest thing that you possess are the one that actually mean the most. But most of the time, we fail to see it till we lose them all.

I watch the world around me crumble,
But it's not like i won't build them up again.

This one's for you. Be strong. There's so much more out there to life. You matter alot to the people around you.

Trust is about what you do, not what you say. It is not something u can mend once it is broken. You gotta show me u mean what u said.


It was drizzling slightly, the weather couldnt have been more gloomy these days.

Monday, October 15, 2007


I think the stuff i write provokes feeling of ambivalence in others at times.
Typically, they refer to different people, so in a way, there's still some coherence in my thoughts. Just that i can refer to many people in a single entry.


Anyhow, presenting my favorite photo, taken by Sharon! So for those who like me a lot, or hate me alot, you can develop this and throw darts.
(CRYS U JUST WAIT> UR UNGLAM PHOTOS ARE COMING)


baby, can we bring yesterday back around?
Yesterday, where it was just you and me...

Friday, October 12, 2007

sentosa-you n me








sun.sea.sand.beach.girltalk.short escapde from stress, gloom and schoolwork.i wish there were more days like these. Let's do that again during dec hols. As for now, back to mugging and reality.( and no, the rest of the photos are censored. did u think i was gonna post our hot bikini shots here.)I love my babes :)..























marche for a cosy lunch. cheers to my babes!




i heart acksx! Love the company, love the joy of being with you all. Anyway thats all the pic i will post. I am really lazy to blog actually. Will upload the rest of them on facebook by next fri and then you all can go get it. Sorry la, busy busy busy, must study-we all know mugging is my life.haha. And yep. I m off to hibernate again. Maybe when i m free or bored of studying, i will do up a short post or post some pics. No promise! Take care all.