secret heart on my coffee for someone not here ;X

i know before u guys think otherwise. bird is my good friend ok. the kind who will meet up every now and then to catch up and talk abt our life..so don't think otherwise. he's happily attached to bird sao..and i have someone else on my mind.. =P
anyway there's a really cool fountain at suntec city..i'm still trying to figure out how it works.

2.45 am
am here waiting for that hair of mine to dry

a slow but nice friday night with the buddy
of food, photo taking, chatting by the sea and feeling the light sea breeze.late night coffee. haha


ok. do i look like i am old enough to get married?!!!
we walked past this bridal shop and the lady asked if we wanted to try any bridal gown or suit.
?!?!?!?!?!?!
i mean... firstly, we we are not a couple. friends.good friends.ok. guy and girl go out dont mean must be couple. secondly, we were walking like 0.5 m away from each other. and thirdly, and most importantly do i look like i am at the age of marriage??!

anyhow photos tomorrow.
it's 3am. i am tired.

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend

>.<
Fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy night

eeps haven blog for long
was in a deep hibernation mood
haven really been online actually..seriously..i used to spend my entire day with my laptop on..these days... it's collecting dust.
whatever..

i am finally done with all my projects at work..so time to shake legs and to make my top 20 list-not for guys la... for my final year project(FYP..ARGH)
SIGH..uber headache. how am i suppose to choose from all the projects.sigh! i think i am the kind of person who don't like to have things undone because i don't feel good when i know i haven done something.

actually, i am feeling somewhat happy at work these days.. today we had some lunch time celebration for some of the technicians who got a pay rise.( i heard some are earning 5-6K a month! may be peanuts to some of you i guess..). i remember vividly the first time i met all these uncles, i just sat at one corner. but through the past 6 months, i have gotten to know some of them fairly well..and they are really pretty funny and friendly people..who talks about the weirdest and funniest stuff. and i must say they are pretty nice to me..

so next week is likethe last week of work. mixed feelings. on one hand i am exhilarated by the dawn of freedom( no more waking up at 6am yay) but yet, i feel i will miss this life i have been leading for e past six months. i'll miss anticipating fridays.and of course i'll miss some of the people at work as well. and i foresee myself to be hit by emptiness (i dont like spending days doing nothing constructive )probably as my life get displaced once again..for the past one year, it has been displaced a couple of times. just when i am getting comfortable and settling down at a particular lifestyle or environment, it's time to move on. but an exciting year nevertheless, meeting all sort of people in my life. doing things i have never done before. i think i have came to embrace changes, challenges and spontaneity.



anyhow. my hibernation mood has come to a closure for now

gotta meet up with 'long-lost friends"
1) ACKSX
2) WEIYI, Lilian!
3) BIRD
3) LALA
4) ElYSIA
5)AX
6) Wei Wei
7) 4J class outing( well maybe. if it goes through. i have been 'faithfully' MIA for the past few years..so if there's one this time round. i resolve to be there. ok try to be there. )

all these plus many many korean dramas...will probably be how i spend my days when work ends till FYP starts.

ok this is bad
i am suffering from some kinda phone trauma.. it's kinda like.. i think too many people msg me abt different dates and time to meet and then i am very confused because i dont remember who said what. and i dun remember if i msg them or call them back and the worst thing is i dont remember if i said i can make it. . i feel really relly bad because i really want to meet up with them.

and if u are thinking..why dont i just go back to check the msg..well this afternoon.. being terrribly disgusted and frustrated with my database thing, i did a ''delete all msg'' stunt without thinking. ahh that 2 min of sheer thrill at watching all the 200 over msg being deleted(it's kinda like your frustration with stuff being carried away with it..some sort of effect like retail therapy.) soon dissolve into regret.

i so deserved to be killed by friends. yea. slap me.
that, aside from being the one who is always the last to arrive, is another good reason to make me the worst friend u can ever get. i am bad. bad girl. bad taptap. i'll change.
i still remember though, one of the 'craziest' thing i did just recently.msg people to tell them this " the movie is at 4.40pm. dont be late"
no prize for guessing who was late.
more random crap.
been doing a lot of crazy shopping these days...
actually sometimes on weekends i prefer a slow and lazy afternoon at home..where i do my own stuff..like reading, watching tv,surfing net.walking down random street. doing shopping. oh no not antisocial. just that everyonce a while. i need some time on my own i guess.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
on a separate thought:
often people engage in mindless competition of their own
constructing the whole idea of winner and loser

but how can there be a winner or loser when there isn't anyone engaged in that competition to start off with.


to me, a good looking guy isnt just the face and the body
it is also about what lies beneath-the mind and the heart.
sadly u cant really tell the latter two easily. because every so often, we don this pretty facade.

.
once again, i succumbed to hatred,
only this time round, i aint gonna fight it

i think these days there seemed to be lesser to blog
not only am i caught up in the virtual world after work, even at work, its 9hrs of staring at my desktop. i am impressed by myself i must say, for being such a good girl. i can sit at my desk from 12pm after lunch to 5pm doing the Microsoft access. i hate to say this but i will miss work after my IA ends. well in a way, it beats doing nothing and bumming around.....
there's gotta be more to life


well anyhow. hope everyone is doing great. i think i am neglecting a lot of people.
xoxo

the cup of water i dropped on myself, almost breaking the cup in e process. cool stuff. haha

bird, dont say i never give u screen time. haha

yea i know no what eat a meal at the coffee conneisseur except us.

weekends== many many tv.
sunday was for the good old buddy bird at clarke quay. who gave me green tea after returning from his 101st honeymoon with bird sao in japan. our catching up usually involve exploring unchartered territories. (to us that is)
anyway..we almost got a free meal at TCC .the waiter gave us 8 dollars as change when we haven even paid for the bill. but being very honest people, we told him abt the mistake. and i spilled a whole cup of water on myself. work today was bad because i was feeling totally zombified but my boss was very nice..he suddenly popped by my desk and gave my ice cream popsicle. so i continued spending some 6 hrs with Microsoft Access. fun stuff.*roll eyes*

today, my fellow analyzer engineer tried to matchmake me again. with this 26 yr old engineer who apparently is dying to know me( i told u, it's the metal braces. ahah u all dont believe). he gave the guy's handphone n office number n his name n the map to where he sits. yea man, i will go right up to him n flash him a big metal smile to see if he will be bedazzled by it.
actually right now that piece of paper is lingering somewhere near the dustbin because e only name i can think of right now is C****
hee. geez.

haha sharon is so gonna laugh at me..cos i laughed at her when she said kwon sang woo is cute. anyway..this is my current love.. i mean other than someone else. the other one cannot say la=X

anyway i am getting a little crazily unreal from an over dosage of too much korean drama. no i dont mean i spend my time crying in front of the tv. but as we all know it's all a picture of perfection or sheer imperfection in the world of drama. that's how things get a little unreal.

anyway the last time i did a reality check, every thing's pretty much unchanged.
at work. i think my boss and big boss like the database thing i created.but
everything's just a routine somehow, like i am following a daily regime of sameness..

i read somewhere, that( i think it's a highly pessimistic point of view) bliss precedes gloom.
or rather.good things and happiness don't last long.
better left to your own thinking.
somehow i think, one can change his physical appearance, some of his habits but his values, perspective and thinking will never be changed. or it will be a feat if u can change someone else's thinking or values. because somehow i think some of these are intrinsic or inherent.

haven update for long i think
just not in the mood to do so..i'm still alive and well. everything's pretty much average these days anyway and there's nothing to blog about..and watching too much depressing shows gets one a little unreal sometimes and leaving one to savour a lingering feeling of blue n gloom..
my boss laughed at me for looking like a zombie today. and gave me a piece of chocolate.
i think i will just update this crap after i get back to reality. or maybe i am repudiating it after all..=/

6B outing last sun........thanks everyone for coming:)till next time..uploaded the class pic on facebook for e sake of those who want it.
haha..if i look spaced out in the photos..it is because i didnt sleep much e night before.
Pirates was just average... and i almost drift off to wonderland.haha..

XH 22nd

celebrated Xh's 22nd at East Coast Park. then sleepover @ crys's
.. somehow i think we are all too old for sleepover...we get tired so easily..although Mad Magazine did kept us up till 3 plus...that game is fun! one day we must COMPLETE the game...haha well if BRYAN chua dont keep accumulating $ !

anyway happy 22nd Xiuhui! best wishes n we love u

ignorance is bliss, really
like i wish i could just embrace oblivion
if this is a dream, don't wake me up
i wish time could come to a standstill right now

microsoft access is my new friend

i hope it keeps me awake. haha

oh and wish me luck i can figure out how to create that database.

u know things don't look good
when you fall asleep reading the 20 over pages of crap u have typed and which you have to submit as your proposal. its like falling asleep reading the essay you have written.

''gua gua gua''
''oni la''
hahahaha =P

random thoughts

1)ice cream + cookies : tummy fats
0 : 10


2)alcohol don't get me high. exercising and jumping around do the job. i don't drink anyway. haha

3) monday Blues.

4) i miss PT

5) welcome home crys. i hope u brought something back for me. haha

6)''when love and hate collide''--def leppard
what happens when there is no love, no hate ?
->it means i don't give a damn about you.

ok la..28 weeks later isnt my kinda show...way too gory.. haha..i am no longer the girl who enjoys gory and horror show.. i think i prefer comedy and light-hearted kind of movie..but lala, you should really watch the show.. cos the little boy in the show is called andy..so they kept shouting andy andy..i think andy became a CANNIBAL monster in the end ..hahaha so sharon isnt the cannibal but ANDY LEE!

hahaha and then i was also reminded of dadee..the daddy in the show became a zombie and kept appearing..so i kept saying ''dadee's coming!'' and ''oh no its dadee''..haha


today i was actually in kinda good mood..cos i thought a lot of pineapple tart.and then i heard someone speaking really wonderful Chinese.. and cos my supervisor gave my rather nice comments on my report..like ''kai ling did a good presentation, kailing did a good proposal'' ..now i should really try to be more hardworking..

anyway crys, we didnt really miss u(joking la) haha. it would have been great if u have caught the movie with us. and xh! stop going out with ZX only..tsktsk

and sometimes i wish time would freeze at certain point in our life

pretty soon..my internship is gonna end.. i must say i kinda like it.. my supervisor's pretty nice and thinks a bit too highly of me...one last project and presentation. i like presentation. esp solo kind. like that no one take the limelight from me. haha *roll eyes*
but there will be things i miss..

pretty soon..i'll have to go back to school and start on all those final years projects..back to zombie life of chemical engineering, seeing people i dont want to..crazy mugging.. just the thought of it fills me with dread
the past one yr....going on exhchange at IOWa, doing all those travelling, working at Exxon has been kinda like a myriad of fairy tales and dreams.. embellished and embossed with love, laughter, fun and meaning. life was carefree and stress-free..studying never felt so easy. work will never be this fun next time. there was so much to look forward to. and i had the chance to, as the saying goes ''to stop and smell the roses''. to experience new things in life.my perspectives towards life and things have changed tremendously. somehow i feel, a part of me has changed as well. there are alot more things i am more sure of right now. slowly, i feel, i am beginning to figure out the future and what lies ahead.

only fairy tales have perfect ending.
not quite so in my case.
sometimes even aurora feels more depressing that twilight-->the beginning of something new feels more depressing than the end of something.
but i guess, life can't be just fun and satisfaction and happiness doesnt stem from making merry all the time.
one gotta do what one has to.

and cheers to another long--lost buddy........ met up over dinner at JURONG POINT( thats like at the other end or singapore) ..seems like just yesterday we were in RJC and clowning around..now..we are both on internship.. keep in touch ya!
and SO6B people..we'll have a class dinner or gathering sometime in june/july ok.. your LAZY and EXPIRED class rep here will try to figure something out. try.


had a 2hrs meeting today on my router lan/wan project today. proposal and presentation time soon..but i guess it beats reading manual and fighting the dreamland monster.


what lies ahead?i will take it as it comes

monday===crazily tired and lazy............like taking 5 min to type one sms. sheer fatigue for no reason in particular. sometimes i think the effect of coffee is purely psychological. it doesn't help that tomorrow is gonna be spent on more boring stuff at work.
must get to fri-daaaaaay....

next movie=28 weeks later.

anyhow.no tag board. alittle quiet in here but i guess i prefer the peace.
i never considered myself a nice person. it can be that easy for me to forget someone and to shut someone off. but really, if we can just not care about anyone and anything , i think the feeling's good.in fact these days i am feeling lesser and lesser. i don't think i will call it escapism though.
really, why should i care?

life's really about striking a balance, but yet we tend to steer ourselves towards one side most of the times.
wanton behavior gets you nowhere
so where do you draw the line then?

photos as promised............but really lazy to post more...
roti prata monster(2nd pic). ha no one is spared unglam photos on my blog(except me)..i really wanted to upload the picture of the roti prata monster on facebook and tag it so that bird sao can see it too......only i am just plain lazy n haven really had the time to surf facebook alr.

ok happier day with the good ole no 1 buddy who came back with bird sao and a few bird juniors. the last time we met was at this IHOP in chicago.. so the two country bumpkin explored vivo city today. 10hrs of eating, walking in rounds(like only 5-10 rounds around the mall) and looking at the rather scenic view of sentosa, dimsum,sushi, cofee, movie..ok finally caught spider man3, and guess what. we were in row A, meaning the first row closest to the screen . and it didnt help that we each had 10 and 20 cups of green tea while eating sushi, so each time the sandman jumped up and down, we could feel green tea vibrating in the bladder. hahaha. and parking fees was 10 dollars. 10 hrs=10 dollars.
fun day! cheers to the buddy bird!
wee! more photos tomorrow. 10 hrs= many many photos. hahaha.

BUddies!

egg tart..reminds me of someone..hee

ok i gave up.
bye everyone
i am gonna find some peace of my own


Seem like everybody go for the self,And don't respect boundaries

for the one last time
i've have had enough.

whee crys! have a safe trip to darwin and come back with alot of presents for me. not those 3 for $10 ''Welcome to Darwin''keychain ok

today i was a good girl. although i did drift off to wonderland a couple of times while studying the microsoft access manual, i spent my afternoon on the program and managed to figure out a couple of stuff, and was so intensely at it that i didnt even notice the supervisor sneaking up on me to spot check on me. grinning at me '' how is it?''
so i told him that the manual he gave me is not very useful ( obviously because i haven't been really reading it.haha) and he asked '' you have any friends or BOyFRIENDS who know, can ask them teach u'' and then he gave a very loud and evil laugh. thanks ah. just last week he asked me how many boyfriends i have. very funny meh?
do i have the '' i have many many boyfriends look'' written on my face?
last week, some auntie who used to stay in the same blk as me asked my mum''so how many bf she have huh?''

and then apparently RC thinks so as well.
so he told XXX '' u think she so pretty(ok Dont laugh, i repeat, dont laugh. haha.) no boyfriend ah, how i chase her?''
i didnt conjure this up. XXX is too trusting to tell my friend everything.
but with this, i up RC to no. 3, haha.

actually, other than RC, there's another WD who's cuter. WD is tall and lanky and his complexion is better than mine. (better keep him away from lala.)
no, i never stare at him.it just happened that the other day, i was making coffee in the pantry and he came in.(very very awkward).

WD and RC are non fictitious by the way.
ya. i am very frivolous. happy everybody?i like many many people. u know u dont have to be pretty to be frivolous

yay.

anyway, instead of typing crap, maybe next time we could do more serious topic like ''global warming'' ''how to cook the perfect squash'' ,''20 feel-good food''
i've been reading everything except the manual. haha

deleted some posts
because they were the worst side of me


let everything come to an end
before things get ugly.

once again
i am really thankful for friends who stood by me.
i love u all
and lets not bother ourselves with someone like that anymore.

i 'll take a break from blogging and all these.
and by the way this blog is for friends. and of course i know i cannot control who reads it.
but if u have nothing good to say. shut your mouth.or the least u can do is to show me and my friends some respect. this is not your playground.

adios everyone.

learning to use microsoft access for work.
which is a database prog + programming... well..programming in visual basics.
i have no idea whats visual basic..let alone microsoft access. and i have 1 mth.to learn from scratch everything. programming in VB and using access itself.like. there isnt anything i hat emore than programming. to create some kinda database. some kinda global database. don't ask me. i have no clue what he is talking about. he seems to have high expectations on me. sadly. i need a computer geek as my boyfriend. preferably those with superb programming skills. who speak languages like C+ and VB.


for i>10
amount spent on kl=x+1;
i++;


i was in the midst of typing the dumb C+ crap which i din get to finish because some drama occurred.
i can only say. i am glad to have really good friends..lala..aloysius.. and crys..

like things couldn't be more grey.............................seriously, i only wish i can get away from this place right here right now..
honestly..........i don't feel like blogging here anymore..................but this blog has been with me for a few years........................and all my friends know this add...arghhhhhh. but i guess... maybe i really have had enough.
Bye everyone...till next time

as most of you who read the news would have already heard of the unfortunate fire at Exxon's PAC refinery....i dont work at the refinery. i work at the chemical plant.

i guess a chem engineer's job isnt that safe because of the industry. but then again, i think most engineering job aint that safe.

i'll tell u what kind of guys i hate
-liars.. or did u think i couldnt see through all your lies..'' oh what a coincidence to bump into u''..RIGHT
-those that are freaking fake.. so they go '' i did all those stuff to prove my sincerity but i didnt want u to know.....''
then tell me now for what? these people are also the ones who can also come with 1001 (lame) reasons to justify their acts and antics.
and i hate guys who love ingratiating themselves with pretty girls and taking all sort of photos of intimate poses with different girls. i guess avril put it the right way '' you are trying to be cool but you look like a fool to me''
- i hate insensitive guy who says dam things..''or u look fatter''. i hate guys who think they can have their way in everything. i hate those who are SELfish
-and please, no point trying to emulate someone else..because u will just be living in tht someone's shadow. get a life. honestly.
i hate faggots.


like in a %#@%@ bad mood.
if anyone of u want to get scolded, call me now. i honestly dont really care what anyone has to say to me right now.
by the way..those stuff doesnt to apply to anyone in general.but u read and think: ''hey is she talking abt me..''
i say..keep it to yourself.

I'm not running from anything.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me