yea i know no what eat a meal at the coffee conneisseur except us.

weekends== many many tv.
sunday was for the good old buddy bird at clarke quay. who gave me green tea after returning from his 101st honeymoon with bird sao in japan. our catching up usually involve exploring unchartered territories. (to us that is)
anyway..we almost got a free meal at TCC .the waiter gave us 8 dollars as change when we haven even paid for the bill. but being very honest people, we told him abt the mistake. and i spilled a whole cup of water on myself. work today was bad because i was feeling totally zombified but my boss was very nice..he suddenly popped by my desk and gave my ice cream popsicle. so i continued spending some 6 hrs with Microsoft Access. fun stuff.*roll eyes*

today, my fellow analyzer engineer tried to matchmake me again. with this 26 yr old engineer who apparently is dying to know me( i told u, it's the metal braces. ahah u all dont believe). he gave the guy's handphone n office number n his name n the map to where he sits. yea man, i will go right up to him n flash him a big metal smile to see if he will be bedazzled by it.
actually right now that piece of paper is lingering somewhere near the dustbin because e only name i can think of right now is C****
hee. geez.

haha sharon is so gonna laugh at me..cos i laughed at her when she said kwon sang woo is cute. anyway..this is my current love.. i mean other than someone else. the other one cannot say la=X

anyway i am getting a little crazily unreal from an over dosage of too much korean drama. no i dont mean i spend my time crying in front of the tv. but as we all know it's all a picture of perfection or sheer imperfection in the world of drama. that's how things get a little unreal.

anyway the last time i did a reality check, every thing's pretty much unchanged.
at work. i think my boss and big boss like the database thing i created.but
everything's just a routine somehow, like i am following a daily regime of sameness..

i read somewhere, that( i think it's a highly pessimistic point of view) bliss precedes gloom.
or rather.good things and happiness don't last long.
better left to your own thinking.
somehow i think, one can change his physical appearance, some of his habits but his values, perspective and thinking will never be changed. or it will be a feat if u can change someone else's thinking or values. because somehow i think some of these are intrinsic or inherent.

haven update for long i think
just not in the mood to do so..i'm still alive and well. everything's pretty much average these days anyway and there's nothing to blog about..and watching too much depressing shows gets one a little unreal sometimes and leaving one to savour a lingering feeling of blue n gloom..
my boss laughed at me for looking like a zombie today. and gave me a piece of chocolate.
i think i will just update this crap after i get back to reality. or maybe i am repudiating it after all..=/

6B outing last sun........thanks everyone for coming:)till next time..uploaded the class pic on facebook for e sake of those who want it.
haha..if i look spaced out in the photos..it is because i didnt sleep much e night before.
Pirates was just average... and i almost drift off to wonderland.haha..

XH 22nd

celebrated Xh's 22nd at East Coast Park. then sleepover @ crys's
.. somehow i think we are all too old for sleepover...we get tired so easily..although Mad Magazine did kept us up till 3 plus...that game is fun! one day we must COMPLETE the game...haha well if BRYAN chua dont keep accumulating $ !

anyway happy 22nd Xiuhui! best wishes n we love u

ignorance is bliss, really
like i wish i could just embrace oblivion
if this is a dream, don't wake me up
i wish time could come to a standstill right now

microsoft access is my new friend

i hope it keeps me awake. haha

oh and wish me luck i can figure out how to create that database.

u know things don't look good
when you fall asleep reading the 20 over pages of crap u have typed and which you have to submit as your proposal. its like falling asleep reading the essay you have written.

''gua gua gua''
''oni la''
hahahaha =P

random thoughts

1)ice cream + cookies : tummy fats
0 : 10


2)alcohol don't get me high. exercising and jumping around do the job. i don't drink anyway. haha

3) monday Blues.

4) i miss PT

5) welcome home crys. i hope u brought something back for me. haha

6)''when love and hate collide''--def leppard
what happens when there is no love, no hate ?
->it means i don't give a damn about you.

ok la..28 weeks later isnt my kinda show...way too gory.. haha..i am no longer the girl who enjoys gory and horror show.. i think i prefer comedy and light-hearted kind of movie..but lala, you should really watch the show.. cos the little boy in the show is called andy..so they kept shouting andy andy..i think andy became a CANNIBAL monster in the end ..hahaha so sharon isnt the cannibal but ANDY LEE!

hahaha and then i was also reminded of dadee..the daddy in the show became a zombie and kept appearing..so i kept saying ''dadee's coming!'' and ''oh no its dadee''..haha


today i was actually in kinda good mood..cos i thought a lot of pineapple tart.and then i heard someone speaking really wonderful Chinese.. and cos my supervisor gave my rather nice comments on my report..like ''kai ling did a good presentation, kailing did a good proposal'' ..now i should really try to be more hardworking..

anyway crys, we didnt really miss u(joking la) haha. it would have been great if u have caught the movie with us. and xh! stop going out with ZX only..tsktsk

and sometimes i wish time would freeze at certain point in our life

pretty soon..my internship is gonna end.. i must say i kinda like it.. my supervisor's pretty nice and thinks a bit too highly of me...one last project and presentation. i like presentation. esp solo kind. like that no one take the limelight from me. haha *roll eyes*
but there will be things i miss..

pretty soon..i'll have to go back to school and start on all those final years projects..back to zombie life of chemical engineering, seeing people i dont want to..crazy mugging.. just the thought of it fills me with dread
the past one yr....going on exhchange at IOWa, doing all those travelling, working at Exxon has been kinda like a myriad of fairy tales and dreams.. embellished and embossed with love, laughter, fun and meaning. life was carefree and stress-free..studying never felt so easy. work will never be this fun next time. there was so much to look forward to. and i had the chance to, as the saying goes ''to stop and smell the roses''. to experience new things in life.my perspectives towards life and things have changed tremendously. somehow i feel, a part of me has changed as well. there are alot more things i am more sure of right now. slowly, i feel, i am beginning to figure out the future and what lies ahead.

only fairy tales have perfect ending.
not quite so in my case.
sometimes even aurora feels more depressing that twilight-->the beginning of something new feels more depressing than the end of something.
but i guess, life can't be just fun and satisfaction and happiness doesnt stem from making merry all the time.
one gotta do what one has to.

and cheers to another long--lost buddy........ met up over dinner at JURONG POINT( thats like at the other end or singapore) ..seems like just yesterday we were in RJC and clowning around..now..we are both on internship.. keep in touch ya!
and SO6B people..we'll have a class dinner or gathering sometime in june/july ok.. your LAZY and EXPIRED class rep here will try to figure something out. try.


had a 2hrs meeting today on my router lan/wan project today. proposal and presentation time soon..but i guess it beats reading manual and fighting the dreamland monster.


what lies ahead?i will take it as it comes

monday===crazily tired and lazy............like taking 5 min to type one sms. sheer fatigue for no reason in particular. sometimes i think the effect of coffee is purely psychological. it doesn't help that tomorrow is gonna be spent on more boring stuff at work.
must get to fri-daaaaaay....

next movie=28 weeks later.

anyhow.no tag board. alittle quiet in here but i guess i prefer the peace.
i never considered myself a nice person. it can be that easy for me to forget someone and to shut someone off. but really, if we can just not care about anyone and anything , i think the feeling's good.in fact these days i am feeling lesser and lesser. i don't think i will call it escapism though.
really, why should i care?

life's really about striking a balance, but yet we tend to steer ourselves towards one side most of the times.
wanton behavior gets you nowhere
so where do you draw the line then?

photos as promised............but really lazy to post more...
roti prata monster(2nd pic). ha no one is spared unglam photos on my blog(except me)..i really wanted to upload the picture of the roti prata monster on facebook and tag it so that bird sao can see it too......only i am just plain lazy n haven really had the time to surf facebook alr.

ok happier day with the good ole no 1 buddy who came back with bird sao and a few bird juniors. the last time we met was at this IHOP in chicago.. so the two country bumpkin explored vivo city today. 10hrs of eating, walking in rounds(like only 5-10 rounds around the mall) and looking at the rather scenic view of sentosa, dimsum,sushi, cofee, movie..ok finally caught spider man3, and guess what. we were in row A, meaning the first row closest to the screen . and it didnt help that we each had 10 and 20 cups of green tea while eating sushi, so each time the sandman jumped up and down, we could feel green tea vibrating in the bladder. hahaha. and parking fees was 10 dollars. 10 hrs=10 dollars.
fun day! cheers to the buddy bird!
wee! more photos tomorrow. 10 hrs= many many photos. hahaha.

BUddies!

egg tart..reminds me of someone..hee

ok i gave up.
bye everyone
i am gonna find some peace of my own


Seem like everybody go for the self,And don't respect boundaries

for the one last time
i've have had enough.

whee crys! have a safe trip to darwin and come back with alot of presents for me. not those 3 for $10 ''Welcome to Darwin''keychain ok

today i was a good girl. although i did drift off to wonderland a couple of times while studying the microsoft access manual, i spent my afternoon on the program and managed to figure out a couple of stuff, and was so intensely at it that i didnt even notice the supervisor sneaking up on me to spot check on me. grinning at me '' how is it?''
so i told him that the manual he gave me is not very useful ( obviously because i haven't been really reading it.haha) and he asked '' you have any friends or BOyFRIENDS who know, can ask them teach u'' and then he gave a very loud and evil laugh. thanks ah. just last week he asked me how many boyfriends i have. very funny meh?
do i have the '' i have many many boyfriends look'' written on my face?
last week, some auntie who used to stay in the same blk as me asked my mum''so how many bf she have huh?''

and then apparently RC thinks so as well.
so he told XXX '' u think she so pretty(ok Dont laugh, i repeat, dont laugh. haha.) no boyfriend ah, how i chase her?''
i didnt conjure this up. XXX is too trusting to tell my friend everything.
but with this, i up RC to no. 3, haha.

actually, other than RC, there's another WD who's cuter. WD is tall and lanky and his complexion is better than mine. (better keep him away from lala.)
no, i never stare at him.it just happened that the other day, i was making coffee in the pantry and he came in.(very very awkward).

WD and RC are non fictitious by the way.
ya. i am very frivolous. happy everybody?i like many many people. u know u dont have to be pretty to be frivolous

yay.

anyway, instead of typing crap, maybe next time we could do more serious topic like ''global warming'' ''how to cook the perfect squash'' ,''20 feel-good food''
i've been reading everything except the manual. haha

deleted some posts
because they were the worst side of me


let everything come to an end
before things get ugly.

once again
i am really thankful for friends who stood by me.
i love u all
and lets not bother ourselves with someone like that anymore.

i 'll take a break from blogging and all these.
and by the way this blog is for friends. and of course i know i cannot control who reads it.
but if u have nothing good to say. shut your mouth.or the least u can do is to show me and my friends some respect. this is not your playground.

adios everyone.

learning to use microsoft access for work.
which is a database prog + programming... well..programming in visual basics.
i have no idea whats visual basic..let alone microsoft access. and i have 1 mth.to learn from scratch everything. programming in VB and using access itself.like. there isnt anything i hat emore than programming. to create some kinda database. some kinda global database. don't ask me. i have no clue what he is talking about. he seems to have high expectations on me. sadly. i need a computer geek as my boyfriend. preferably those with superb programming skills. who speak languages like C+ and VB.


for i>10
amount spent on kl=x+1;
i++;


i was in the midst of typing the dumb C+ crap which i din get to finish because some drama occurred.
i can only say. i am glad to have really good friends..lala..aloysius.. and crys..

like things couldn't be more grey.............................seriously, i only wish i can get away from this place right here right now..
honestly..........i don't feel like blogging here anymore..................but this blog has been with me for a few years........................and all my friends know this add...arghhhhhh. but i guess... maybe i really have had enough.
Bye everyone...till next time

as most of you who read the news would have already heard of the unfortunate fire at Exxon's PAC refinery....i dont work at the refinery. i work at the chemical plant.

i guess a chem engineer's job isnt that safe because of the industry. but then again, i think most engineering job aint that safe.

i'll tell u what kind of guys i hate
-liars.. or did u think i couldnt see through all your lies..'' oh what a coincidence to bump into u''..RIGHT
-those that are freaking fake.. so they go '' i did all those stuff to prove my sincerity but i didnt want u to know.....''
then tell me now for what? these people are also the ones who can also come with 1001 (lame) reasons to justify their acts and antics.
and i hate guys who love ingratiating themselves with pretty girls and taking all sort of photos of intimate poses with different girls. i guess avril put it the right way '' you are trying to be cool but you look like a fool to me''
- i hate insensitive guy who says dam things..''or u look fatter''. i hate guys who think they can have their way in everything. i hate those who are SELfish
-and please, no point trying to emulate someone else..because u will just be living in tht someone's shadow. get a life. honestly.
i hate faggots.


like in a %#@%@ bad mood.
if anyone of u want to get scolded, call me now. i honestly dont really care what anyone has to say to me right now.
by the way..those stuff doesnt to apply to anyone in general.but u read and think: ''hey is she talking abt me..''
i say..keep it to yourself.

I'm not running from anything.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me

''Everything you believe you have imagined is real. You have only to outlive it''

such is the harsh reality of life

was looking at movie guide of the year
ok..for all u saw fans..apparently, theres going to be SAW 4. haha i shd bring cherry to watch it. i think watching saw 3 was like watching Disney cartoons for her. as for me, i couldnt remember much of the show. because i spent my time behind my hands

that aside

my scandal with RC is getting ore and more horrible!XXX is like having alot of fun.

so apparently, RC always lunch with this fellow female intern.
and XXX( the same evil uncle) told RC to chase after me instead for reasons i wldnt say because i almost choked when my friend told me abt it...
grrr...... ok i mean RC is quite ok looking ..and he's actually pretty nice la.. there was once i borrowed his office's phone cause mine wasnt working...so later he had to go down to lab..he actually came to tell me to just go ahead to use his phone if i need it as he's not going to be around...
and now things have became rather awkward(must pretend to be looking at the floor for gold whenever i walk past his desk)...and if the girl hears of what XX says to RC, i'm pretty sure i am gonna be hated.

sometimes people are so judgmental abt looks.. the other day i was out with a friend.. and we caught a friend of hers with her bf..and my friend commented that their bf isn't very compaitable with her friend in terms of looks.

my point is..we are under constant scrutiny always and at the end of the day..do you want to live up to your own expectations or other's expectation of you.

that said..how would u feel or think or react if someone tell u ur bf/gf isnt that compaitable with u? in terms of looks or just in general?




TOMORROW is a holiday!
Sigh..


tired of the facade
tired of telling myself everything's gonna turn out fine
there's only so much one can do

my turn to look spaced out
well..guess where this place is....
was out with a friend..and well...we kinda end up being tourist...
i must say the national library looks pretty decent..

underneath that veil..
all that remains is nothingness and hollowness
do you really know me
negativity gets the better out of me

'' i'll take your hand
and bring u under the velvet skies,
and lie beside u beneath the stars
only to wake up to find that
it was all dreams and marred illusions''

if we could all learn to let go
life would be easier
we will all be happier
it is something i am trying to learn


did you seriously think i was going to look back

guess who i met today?
SHARON TEO SHIOK HUI.

haha what a coincidence!
was out in town with elysia. finally had jap food..wee..caught 200 pounds beauty, this korean comedy. had a great time laughing myself silly. and there's a hot babe in the show.. reminds me a little of dawn yeo.
and elysia is a bad influence. she brought me to look at guys. we were like walking up n down from orchard to somerset. seriously, this is the first time i have done such things. and apparently i am so bad at it that when she asked me look at some guy, i can stand fixated in one spot and do a 360 degree turn and not knowing who she is referring to. and that i am so obvious when looking at guys that they always know i am looking at them. because they stare back. bleah. count me out next time. i'd rather look at girls. plus there's only one guy running through my mind everyday now. i aint frivolous ok. one guy at one time.

we came to the conclusion we are not that young anymore. must start paying more attention to looks and dressing while we are still not that old.. i guess.maybe i will try to increase the 5min i take to dress up to go out to 10 min. haha.oh and horror of horror, elysia knows my brother's gf.. i guess the world's really small..


and more abt me and RC. it happened that today, i was going down the stairs and talking on the phone and he, with the whole bunch of lab people came up the stairs. and they all started grinning and smiling. RAWR. i should have just told the one on the phone ''I LOVE U''..only i think he will faint and maybe they will think i am saying it to RC.

i guess.. i should start hiding under my desk. only thing is. we sit next ti each other. sweet. just sweet. thats it. i am printing a life size poster of alex tmr. haha that will scare him off totally.

.

was watching mtv TRL live on tv..
Dam i miss NYC.. hard to believe that a few months back, i was right there, at times sqaure.it still feels very familiar. walking up and down 5th ave, times square, madison ave, wall street, eating dunkin donuts and cold stone ice cream..standing alone at chinatown in NYC for 30 min. i was alone, in new york, at chinatown subway station, waiting for daryl n nick tan. probably the longest 30 min i spent. i didnt feel very afraid despite the fact i was in a place not knowing how to go back, now knowing anyone. just a little surreal and maybe yes,a slight tinge of fear

i'll go back to visit the states someday. to VEGAS(haven been there). NYC, chicago, SF and Florida. Phildaephia.ok iowa. some of my favorite cities.
add that to finland. mexico. europe. brazil.. i'll visit all my SIE friends. ok there's 101 more places actually.
miss those days.
everything's average and predictable these days.

maybe i like changes. i don't like commitment. i adore freedom. roaming the world. there's so much more out there. there's so much more to life. gotta start doing more planning what i want to..else dreams will remain frozen in the mind.

fear is only in our minds ,
taking over all the time

not exactly in the best of moods these days
whenever i ponder about the future and other stuff in life. i am lapsing into the comfort of monotony and feeling adrift with a senseless ennui sometimes. someday nothing appeals to me.
on a brighter note, tomorrow is friday!! movie time + some stoning and chilling.

recently, , i am rumored to be interested in the pink shirt guy-RC i will call, who sits next to me in the office.
how the rumors started, i must thank XXX who told RC i asked if he was attached. which obviously i didnt. so since XXX and RC are from the lab, all the people in the lab think i am interested in him. one of them even asked my friend today '' so kl interested in RC ah?!''
no wonder RC has been giving me weird stares whenever he walks past my cubicle.

*faint*
to this, i came up with several solutions :
1) print a life size poster of the guy i like and plaster it on the wall of my cubicle. but wait the girls see the poster, then they also like him how?

2) well since RC sits next to me, the next time, i will call someone on the phone and say'' DEAR HONEY SWEETIE PIE DARLING CUPPYCUP CAKE I LOVE U''.(<-- by the way, never in my sane mind will i say this to anyone. for those who are attached, try it out. see if he/she faints) but wait, maybe RC will think i am calling him that.

3) start wearing more rings.

alternatively, might as well freak him out :
4) ''confess'' i am truly in love with him, buy a bouquet of blue roses and chocolates and give him a love letter. stalk him, freak him out. *evil laugh*

5) show him the photo of alex, the 20th guy on my top 20 list of guy, tell him i tink he is as 'suave' as alex. (*FAINT)and then ask RC if he mind giving me his phone number. for those who don know allex, i'll show u the photo another time.

6)give xxx a thrashing. RAWR

for those who dont know knut, he's real
he resides in berlin zoo because of a whole long story behind it. u can google to know more
knut=my greatest love!

ok sharon revenge is urs. u can laugh at me too. i know i look bad, like horriblytired,old ghost like and skinny(US fatten me up.damn).. don't say i am evil ok. i post my unglam photo also. lala dont scold me ok. u see, actually the fact i look horrible will make u appear cuter. *cough

i found this phto. CRYS, UR BOYFRIEND IS weird. haha ok i hope jon dont read this.but it was a pretty cool shot. we were all using our phone!
anyway. sharon. hahahahhahahaha nice pose.
i am so gonna get killed. dear all, pls dont make your blogs public. i'll die a horrible death.pretty please?i promise i wont post all the other lovely photos. haha

there are many memories i dont want to lose
there are many things i wish i have said but didnt....
there are many things i want to do all over again

i wish i have all the perseverance in the world

look for lala in this ancient photo i found( the weirdest looking one)
i still haven found 'lovely' pics of him. i lost all those ancient photos we took with poei and in NUS(once if u can remember). u are lucky lala, my desktop died. now i
must dig under the mess in my room for that neoprint.*evil laugh* no one is spared!
now... must hide somewhere. a cannibal woman, a Spaced out woman and a crazy bear is after my life.

dont say i am mean to you crys
this is the nicest photo of u so far
and just look at aloysius

u know u are suffering from monday blues and severe depression and not thinking when

1) u tell your boss your brain isnt working and you really want to bang against the wall. but all he did was laughed loudly at you

2) u asked ur boss '' don't u find interns very irritating?'', and when he said..it depends on if he gets the good or bad ones.. u asked again ''so am i the good or the bad ones?''

3) when 12000+ 2000+1000=13200

4) when u talked to someone for 15 mins but u dont really remember what u just said

5) when u realised at 3pm that u ate mince meat noodle for lunch at 12pm and u didnt think about the one whom u miss alot and who miss mince meat noodles alot



by the way
i still think Chester Bennington is cute..i forgot who laughed at me when i said so the other time.
and i cant wait for the new album to be out.

random thoughts:

u know your job probably requires u to buy many many insurance swhen...
1) u climb 12 stories up a tower in open air and when u reach the ground, your feet is trembling slightly.
2) the worst thing about climbing is that you see signs that says "radioactive at *** level''
3) your supervisor carries a gas monitor with him. and you see a sign that says ''High level of Carbon Monoxide. Please bring gas monitors along''

You know you are gonna be late
when you are still at home blogging at 7pm when you have to meet your friends at 7pm. It is a great blessing that i don't put makeup to go out. if not, i guess i'll reach at 9pm. or wait. 10pm.
to sum it up. if we meet in the east side, i'll be half an hour late. if we meet in town(orchard, city hall), i'll be an hour late, if we meet at someplace i have never drove to before, i'll be 2 hrs late.

U know you are very free when u spend time uploading pictures onto facebook and friendster..
and you blogged a whole piece of crap. if u have been reading everything i blogged in great details. i guess...either u really like me..or u are really bored.


u know u are weird when u burst out laughing at things people say(crys knows this the best)
and some say it resembles that of a deranged auntie's laughter