n so i was realli bored. and so i was browsing online
n found some of the stuffs i bought recently
haaaa=.=

n post chinese new yr blues still remains
last fri. i watched movie
this fri.i watch webcsat lectures
sighzz

happy cny everyone
e past 2 days have been great
spending time visiting. although i dun exactly converse with my relatives. i guess the idea of being surrounded by relatives itself was great.just watching them, in their joyous mood, in their world of mahjong, busy stuffing themselves with new yr goodies,cracking an ocassional joke every now n then was a good feeling.it takes ur mind off stuff. away frm the burden of life,school n every other stuffs.
relatives lament that i am too skinny. but i must emphasize. i eat wat i can. and most importantly. its only my arms that are a tad too thin. i m not well proportionate. if u notice harder. n i m confident of a wt gain after new yr. i have been pigging out on the oh-so-delicious pineapple tarts n new yr goodies, ranging from sweets to chips to peanuts to cookies. n not to mention the countless round of steamboat n the massive amt of meat, fishballs,scallop,squid and more MEAT consumption.
but NO. no CHOCOLATE. not even a single piece.
but i must admit. sometimes my appetite gets really bad n i can survive a day with very little food. esp when i m moody or piss off. its like. i dun even have to eat. haha
and then. i realise. i m old. honestly.i used to be the generation of kids running ard screaming n playing games. but now. i m watching little kids do that. someone commented that in a few yrs time. i will b the one giving hongbaos. but i highly doubt so. given my not so great calibre. my weirdness. i doubt marriage will come so soon. and love is so unreal at times..but i haf plans alr. since they say if a woman doesnt get married by 30, then ITE already. i intend to join SDU at 28, allowing them a yr or so to matchmake me and by 30,i will grab anyone that comes to me.hahaha of cos if that day comes, i'd rather go vietnam to find a husband.

and as for now.its time to get back to reality.
e pseudo carefree n lighthearted days are over

every now n then
the same old feeling creeps back
it's silly thinking that some stuffs would change

preharps i shd explain why i detest sch
mainly bcos
sch is lonely n disgusting
i dun have people to hang out with. close frends.somtimes. i dun even feel like i m in a relationship. everyday i listen to lectures full of weird stuffs. n leave the lectures full of doubts.
in a way
sch has made me detached frm the world
old friends whom i dun haf time to go out with
subsequently. everyone.seems to haf drifted away frm me

my lecturers haf decided to reward us with new yr hongbaos. by giving us tests on the 15th n 16th of feb.
just a while back
went wif mum to the supermarket. n watch as everyone.do last min shopping. could fill the joyous mood ard me. but not in me. my semi hols mood. ended today. with memoirs of a geisha. a movie. i just haf to watch. n i know. after new yr. everything reverts back to the past. mugging. just mugging. no more.gg out.and talking to the wall. sometimes banging it. if i feel like it.haha

just another gloomy night
that i weave a picture of gloom fer myself
n talks incoherently

and from memoirs of geisha
a description i vaguely rem frm the movie

the heart is dead
with hopes taken away
just like a tree sheding its leaves
until there are no leaves left

disappointments, and only more of it
what is holding me back really?

anyway
more stuffs to ponder about
my exchange program to US has been approved more or less except fer 1-2 changes in modules
n suddenly i am grippled with confusion and fear
the notion of being all alone doing horrible n difficult modules alone in some university

i guess........i will just take things as it comes.....it all goes well with the application...i guess i will go.....n if my application screw up at the final stage..den so be it.

life
is so full of contradictions.

crys is right
there are too many pretty girls in singapore. the only way to stand out is to be ugly!!

and then u know how sometimes. stray cats are very irritating. they are mean. ugly. attack u fer no reason. there was once i was chased by a fierce stray cat fer no reason n had to run to hide. so the thing is that cats are mean, and no one likes cats.cats are detestable.just like me.i wonder if spca accepts stray cats. n if pple will adopt next time

crap aside. matlab is driving mi bonkus.well although chi new yr is coming. which reminds me. i hereby resolve not to buy any more clothes. take that as my chinese new yr resolution. sigh..and taht aside.probabaly to ne nice to pple.even if they r not.

yestreday i went on a never ending ride ard city hall n bugis. entering 3 erp fer no reasons. just cos i lost my way n missed 2 carpark of bugis junction n raffles city
n last sat. i cldnt be more glad my bro had his p plate on the car. cos i was at tm. n sigh. i was stuck at a parking lot fer prob 5-10 min.with a few cars waiting behind. it was painful i know.watcjing mi park. i felt the pain too...sighz..i have no idea wat i m doing these days anihow it seems.............ughhhh!

And all the roads we have to walk along are windingAnd all the lights that lead us there are blindingThere are many things that I would Like to say to youI don't know how

sometimes looking back at the past saddens me
its like.reading ur old diary. looking back at things back then
i dunno y. i feel a tinge of sadness.maybe its the realisation that some things will never be the saem again...........


extreme monday blues
seems like every night b4 i slp.
i weave a picture of gloom fer myself
i like the weeks leading up to new yr
at least. i still have an excuse to slack.shop.
after new yr
its. full time mugging.
well... i guess.....life's like that

n den i am feeling a little nauseous now. head throbbing in slight pain.mind swirling n full of stuffs...matlab. diferential eq.heat. kinetics.dynamics.tutorials.mid term on the 16th of feb. i feeling a little overwhelmed. n unwell. probably. the effect of staring at stuffs fer a day. this feeling is similar to the disgusting feeling i get after eating chocolate.maybe i m a dog.bcos dog cannot eat chocolate. they will die. i m seeing stars. sighz..........yup.its only the 2nd week of school.
i need a rest. or maybe. retail therapy. but if i continue to do so. i'll enuff clothes to last till 2010. n till den. all the stuffs will b out fashion alr. sighzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i know i m pretty weird at times
today
i was standing beside a rubbish bin, trying to fish out the remaining of my packet of prawn cracker. mayb i looked a little weird. as if i haf just dug the packet of crackers frm the dustbin. bcos this classmate of mine was staring at me. in a rather weird manner.

n den.... i got a little moody again. n the funny thing was. i know i m in a bad mood.but i dunno why. so on the bus. i kept asking myself. y m i feeling so bad.

n then of cos there are times where i say things that are just so weird.

2nd week into sch
n its suffocating me alr=(
well at least chi new yr is coming

ok so i heard the great news fer crys
sharon!@@#@#! hahaha

poei took mi on a dangerous ride today
well
1st he got horned fer well....abrupt lane changing near nus.he wanted to lane change into a car. haha
after which
he missed the ecp exit n went to cte
nxt he stopped in the middle of a road. bcos he couldnt lane change in order to get to some exit
den, he lane change to the left lane n fer some unknown reason, lane changed back to his own lane thinking its the same lane
nxt the sign says road work at lane 3.so i told him.dun lane change into lane 3.ok
so at abt 100m towards the site of road work,he lane changed into lane 3 ,
probabaly to the amusement of the driver behind
n the nxt thing he did was he knocked down 3-4 cones the workers haf put up.
hahahhaha i laughed till i cried.

n to lala: take care be strong k. regrets are inevitable in life. just cherish those ard u more. i'll keep ur advice in mind n do the same too.

experienced sthg that din make me feel gd today
was at u2 today payingfer stuufs
in front of mi was 2 banglas...or rather foreign workers.
so app...they were paying fer some shirts
n there was some mistake cos they thot the shirts were $13 each n it turned out to b $19
what got me alittle angry was the attitude of the 2 cashiers. they were extremely rude n impatient when the two men asked abt the price differences. n u know how most foreign workers cant converse well in english.n so they were a bit loss n din know what to say. prob he din want the shirts animore. but the evil cashier just thrust the NETS machine to him n ask fer his pin number. n so the poor man had no choice but to pay fer the shirts.
after he paid. i could see. him n his other friend. gg back to where the shirts were placed. looking n checking the price.
after which i overheard some mockery frm the two cashiers
one of them said"game over" probabaly meaning there is nothing the 2 men could do now since they haf paid fer e shirts. n the 2 of them were laughing.almost as if they were sneering at them.
i dunno. i just felt sad. n aghasted. by the 2 salesgirl
i dun think they should b so mean. after all.come on. these foreign workers are not rich n they sweat n toil fer every cent of their money.
sure. they do not have a gd reputation. u know.all the molest cases at all the countdown stuufs
but mayb. everything goes full circle u know. u be mean to them. n in return. they b mean to u.

these days
it just feeels so cold
the weather. people ard. life.

sometimes
i wonder
howmany of us treat people with sincerity
or do we
be nice to others
fer the sake of being deem as a nice person

feels sad somehow
maybe its sch=(

tumultous 1st day of sch
the feeling just isnt gd

bleah
long tiring day
sighz. if any of u are ever out with me.. n i look kinda stone or quiet all of a sudden..pls dun assume that i am dao or i m in a bd mood or i dun enjoy yer company or having u ard
sometimes. i m just too tired to smile. so i just stone in my own corner.n mind my own business

trying to get back into some studying mood. haiz. its like. changing my lifestyle all over again.

life's fragile
cherish all ur love ones ard u. really.

n so today marks the official end of hols

this hols
i must say was filled with nice memories.
~~all the acksx outing, stay over at crys's house, the kiteflying,xmas celebration,birthday celebration,ktv session,new yr celebration, the bitching, the shopping sessions... all the fun=).. i love u guys=)
~~ the ah sohs. shopping wif my new foound shopping kaki weiyi a.k.a ah soh 1.the xmas celebration at clarke quay..had fun just chilling out n gg on an adventurous ride..hope 2 see u guys again soon
~~ the one at home...playing maple...shopping..gg to the market n cooking ktv...playing with teddies.haha
~~the boy...our ups n down..our weird outings..ok i love u too.haha
~~the maple kakis. esp lala..gang-banging n scolding pple.(lala poei n taptap rawks!)=D
~~6B. the gathering.the buddy sw..the msia trip wif sw, rabbit n yj

and so.. as quoted frm lala. memories will fade but love will stay=D
see u guys all real soon!
life is a tragedy full of joys

had my fair share of fun
time to get back to my mugging mood.to b serious again. bye maple. bye bye to the outside world.haha.
not exaggerating.being in chem eng. does not permit fer any life outside sch. my nxt 4 mths will b filled with books n more books


to digress
having roamed the world these days
i gained "insights" to many things
1) i HATE it when pple yaWN and open their mouth to show the entire world their teeth. i think its quite rude. n ITS worse when they have bad breath!gawd. can faint u know.
2) and if u haf a gf, nvr make her buy food fer u. nonono. its sad to see a girl, carrying a tray containing 2 bowls of noodles, walking with difficulty. n the tray mildy shaking
3)i feel extreme sympathy for fat babies. those poor little cute chubby looking things dun know what they are in for when they grow up.yes. they look so cute now. their mum so proud of them. wait till they grow up. n reach 100kg.

i think i haf gained weight
haven been controlling my diet la. haha i just eat n eat.
but its ok la. i feel sad too when i see gals trying too hard to lose weight.

a rather long post... =(

every now n then
i turn into a monster
n break my resolution of trying to b nicer to my friends

being kinda feeling down these days
thanks to sch
which starts in 3 days time
and my screwed up sep application=(

so the week was spent
meeting up wif friends fer well the last time b4 sch starts
the acksx, the boy, the ah soh
i wish i haf time fer evryone else

ok of cos i m trying to break away frm com games
butthese days the 1st thing i do when i wake up is to on the com
n intuitively, i click on the maple icon
spent the night before with bro n a friend quarelling wif a bunch of people on maple
was apalled at their lack of general knowledge. ha a tad too childish hur.haha

well
4 mths of crap
n i will be free

i have learned to live each day as it comes
and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow

too bad.the above does not applies to me just yet

can't really describe
how i am feeling right now
maybe sad=(

thesedays
i can just be in my own world even when i m out with people
almost as if evryone ard me turned insignificant

i realise
i dun interact well in big groups



sch starting
guess
its time
i go into my own world fer the rest of e week
n roam the streets of singapore again
been too caught up with my com games
dat i skipped a class outing

shots frm new yr eve with acksx at east coast
me!

us=P

us!=)

'macho' man aloy

they dun want me.sob.see the two BIMBO nxt to me??! haha

so these days even as i try not to think abt the fact that sch is starting in ONE weeks' time, it appears that it is hard to do so
even as i decide to go shopping, fate has it that i meet NUS people
today,for example, i met ghost girl.ya if u haf forgotten her, she's e one who wears a long white dress n walk up n down the aisle of the lecture theatre
no she dun recognise me.duh.but the sight of her seems to send me an invisble msg "HEy ITS ME GHOST GIRL.U ARE GONNA SEE ME IN NUS IN A WEEK TIME"

and den today i realise y some people get hacked to death
u see
my mum n i was waiting fer the bus at the interchange
u know how sumtimes u dun join the queue but just wait at the side when the bus comes
so we waited at the side fer the pple in e queue to get up
n one FAT kingkong guy who looks fugly thought my mum was trying to cut queue
so he yelled"oi queue up lar"
u see. if i were some gangster ah beng or frm the tua pek gong society
he probably wld haf been hacked to death by now

these days
i seem to have abandon the world for my games
let me stay away from reality.....=(

shoppping spreeeeeeeee today
mayb i shd shop wif frends instead
at least they can stop me from buying stuffs
today seems to b the day in which everything i try seems to suit me.
so.................poof.the money is gone....
and it din help that every shops seem to b having sales...bleah

hmm...
y is it.guys enjoy reading FHM,maxim etc
but gals dun read men's health etc
or do they? haha

i m starting to feel the gloom of hols coming to an end
just the thought of it makes mi unhappy=(


aniway
nice day today
someone flew his 1st kite of his life
walked prob 2.4km...legs aching now.haha

i quite like this hols...too bad its ending
i will miss
hanging out wif the acksx... i miss all of u

the ah soh of cos. will b long b4 we meet up again

and i will miss
playing maple wif my bro n lala n my classmates
sob.............

just the thought of it
makes mi sad=(

sigh
hols coming ot an end
so much stuufs to do......so little time
i m torn btw gg out n playing games.sob.boo.boo.hate sch.dowan sch.bleah

went ktv wif bro. we rawk. ha.no we sux. we cannot make it.haha.
and had a GHASTLY dinner.cooked by bro.....EWWWWWWW!!hahaha u know things dun look gd when u see carrot appearing in all e dishes.well e soup has carrot. the veggie has carrot.the FISH has carrot.

=P

lazy to blog
a horribly bad day
the NUS staffs are all so unfriendly
bleah!

niway. went market today. felt a little out of place

n

i hate it when i m nice to pple n they r mean

my new yr resolution
1) study mugg study
2)be nicer to all my friends n love ones
3)lets keep it as that fer the time being

ah lian n me

hee thats all folks
e rest of e pic were not clear

lian n weiyi
my ah sohs!=P 

xmas eve..spent wif the ah soh gang who wanted to experience the joyous spirit of chritmas
lets see
we went to hooters. haha yes the place i tink aloy will like.
was quite an exciting outing. n doing some catching up with all the ah sohs.ah sohs all getting more n more funky. i tink i shd b the ah soh instead. haha
haha oh n i got stopped by a policeman while driving
hah!! no la. evrey other cars were stopped. they wanted to test if pple drank n drove. of cos. kailing din. she drank fruit juice. haha. but exciting. and weiyi could still tell me" hey the policeman quite gd looking"

things kl will NVR enjoy doing
1)taking photos. i look ghastly. y do i need to take more photos to prove to myself that. haha
2)clubbing. just dun appeal to me. hah i still haven stepped into any of such places yet. not intending to. n henceforth. i will nvr be fond of guys who club.
3) drinking. thou shall nvr touch any alcohlic drinks . i dun care. i just dun drink. i can't drink aniway. i love my fruity hooty fruit juice more can.haha
4)now u see. y nightlife doesnt suit kl. i feel like a bad kid just staying out late. see. boring kl rite. the activity i tink i enjoy most.is sitting n stoning. and oh ya how can i forget. reading newspaper. reading the same few articles over n over.


and sharon. i know u are stalking me. hahaha

there r justtoo many a times i lament at my own indecisiveness n lack of firmness
dat i alwasy get caught in situation in which i can't seem to find a way out




aniway
its e festive season

merry christmas=0)

HappY BirD-DAY saMUEL

I JUST REMEMBERED uR BDAY TODAY AND HENCEFORTH I M REALLI SORRY to proclaim that i din send u any cards or gift!!! arrgh... but i promise when u return to singapore, ur bird gift willl be awaiting u
haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYSTAL!!!!
I LOVE YOU! hah
welcome to the big 2 club!!! did u think u could escape? hahaha

taptap is the one on the left

i m beginning to look more and more like taptap
out with the girls for shopping yesterday

sharon-hope yer hot date today was great

yea..time to pick ourselves up

results was ok...was a big relief
at least i can celebrate xmas n new yr in peace...

now i just wanna enjoy the remaining hols!!its ending=(

these days i tink i haf sign in to msn less than my usual amount. yea..actually i dun particularly enjoy talking on msn.its hard to get an idea across sumtimes. maybe i shd blame it on my poor langauge skills. and there dun seem to pple i haf to tok to.
ever wonder y pple get into a relationship for? i seriously haf no idea. i tink one can b equally happy single or attached..
n its high time i start my hibernation again.. bears hibernate.so does kailing.

n oh ya. blogging is getting boring too.bleah.

excting trip to msia with shiwei jervis n yj
watched chronicles of narnia. i tink we can have the chronicles of johor already.
we kinda explored the place.walked an awful lot. took alot of cab too.thanks to a sabo kia.hah.hmm actualli the sight of the city of johor was a refreshing change of environment.. but i tink i just dun feel comfortable there.. yea i still prefer good old singapore. haha and somehow it seems pple can recognise u a a singaporean straight away.well just take a walk thur the shops selling vcds.somehow they will know u r a foreigner.and the way of queuing for toilet is also different...haha but movie there is realli cheap.yup so is the food. had a nice dinner of oatmeal with rice. haha it was suppose to be seafood dinner with clayfish,stingray n stuffs but i think the oatmeal appealed to me most.hahaha

fun is over..d day is here. boo hoo hoo guess i will rather not ponder too much....sighz.....

It was a windy aevening.










xh:huh? y all their kite fly so high. mine only like that???????
haha cos i am sharon ma.i can fly a kite.hah!
beacause her kite wouldnt fly. xh hatched a evil plot to get everyone kite entangled up. she succeeded.so here we r





xh is secretly smiling if u observe carefully.hanow she got her retribution.she had to go n pick up her kite.hah!

i dunno wat was i doing.collapse in fatigue
sharon decided. maybe we could tie the string onto her. n she could be the kite.so that we could fly her.(actually. wat happened was. the string got entangled to her hair)
having her evil plot tharwted bcos our kites resume their activities,she spent her evening.winding n rewinding the string.

i went kite flying today
haha dun laugh. it was actualli pretty fun. i luv flying kites. 1st time to fly kite. i m so proud of the monkey kite. haha.
oh n bowling was well..haa strenous..why all the balls so heavy one huh.haa
been gg out wif u guys so often. but i still enjoyed all the outings=)
cant join u guys tonight to sleep over.. but guess u all wil haf fun toking=P

ok i need to lose weight
dun ask mi why

haiz Dday is not too far away

i went kite flying today
haha dun laugh. it was actualli pretty fun. i luv flying kites. 1st time to fly kite. i m so proud of the monkey kite. haha.
been gg out wif u guys so often. but i still enjoyed all the outings=)
cant join u guys tonight to sleep over.. but guess u all wil haf fun toking=P

ok i need to lose weight
dun ask mi why

haiz Dday is not too far away

happy birthday kailing.
sian. 20 alr. the big 2. soon. the big 3. ugh. when that time come. i will go tibet to stone in the sanctuary.
niway.
heh was nice seeing u again....i tink we r both pretty weird.

aniway.. thnaks to all those who remmebered my bday!=)

and. guess who i met today
SHARON TEO SHIOK HUI. haha miss babe is stalking me. hahaha..hope u guys had fun today.. well shaorn..i think u freak him out again. haha
cant wait to see u all again tmr=P . i wanna see crys eat. haha.


ripped this frm sharon blog. i hate taking photo bcos i dun look gd in them.esp nxt to a photogenic person. haven post the photos at sleepover cos my internet connection in my rm is realli bad... wait a while more !






do i look sad.....y do so many pple tell me that.haha mayb i m. so if i am sad. i cant realli say it doesnt matter animore right. haha
WELL.i look sad in photos.cos i hate braces. realli.

i hate sun!
in sentosa, pple suntan. i shadetan. i look fer shade to hide.having done biology. i dun love e sun animore. not that i did.
but i figure i cld do with a weeny bit of sun.a teeny bit is healthy.i look kinda pale.

m realli tired......... sigh......
i think time is passing by a tad too fast
mayb when u r occupied.u dun think so much of unhappy n gloomy stuffs. n maybe time pass by faster.

anyway
bought a bdae present fer myself today that cost 30 bucks...
these days...i think i spent more on friends den on myself..... presents this month alone cost 100 plus.

in a horrible mood.........
i din want to think abt stuffs anymore........but while waiting to get some stuffs done today
i filled myself with the same old thoughts again
and i am confused all over again
i have no idea wat lies ahead anymore
am i just testing my threshold level
maybe..i feel i m ready to snap soon
i think little stuffs acccumulate slowly until theres a point of no return
is it disappointment i m feeling right now?.. that things wasnt the way i wanted..or was it sthg else
close friends will probably knows wat i m talking abt......its hard making a decision....



had some pretty bad dreams yesterday..thanks to the descent... i dreamt i dropped into some hole.. i m claustrophobic i think......

i feel extremely guilty. cos i was supposed to organise the class party n in e end..shiwei did everything. i did not even bring any food.boo hoo hoo...
aniway.thanks shiwei.for all the effort.yj n e rest fer the bday cake=)..din expect it.

aniway.....a veri terrifying experience tpday
i got lost. u know things r not looking gd when u end up at an unknown place n unknown road wif no cars at 12 am. yes laugh at me. but fer 15 min i panicked. u see. i was supoose to exit at PIE changi airport. so being kailing, i missed it n exit at PIE jurong. for those who drive. u know. how sad this is.n den the nxt nearest exit was i some funny road which i cant even rem the name. so fer 15 min. i drove ard in e dark not knowing where i was. scary la. n den images of the movie saw2 i had watched began to appear in my mind. hahaha.. so dun ask mi how i got home. i must thank the road sign in singapore. easy to follow. haha. btw. i cant use a street directory. all i remebered. was. ending up at goldhill road. i dunno where it is. haiz...

watched e descent today
ok. everyone..STOP bringing mi to watch gory show. haha i pretty much covered my eyes wif my water bottle this time round......=(
hai...this hols is like half gone.....boo hoo.. i m actualli enjoying myself

tired
i hate the feeeling of sleeping veri little.sleepovers are fun. but the feeling nxt morning is not
am dead broke too

xmas present:$50
dinner at petals：$26..haha it was weird to watch the 5 of us
pool:$5
ktv:$7
drinks:$10
total:100?
i m gonna rob a bank soon.haha
enjoyed myself though..thanks fer all the pressies=) and most importantly, the company..
1 person i must "praise"
CRYSTAL goh
well..why ah
1) she makes me walk alot.
2)she brings me to new urban male to check out guys.ya not bad.i must say
3)crys dear, i sense a sore throat coming. haha
4) no la. crys. thanks fer e free food n lodging. haha
5)for toking till 5am despite a sore throat..croak.brave!
of cos not forgetting the rest... xh n her xmas song n maggie mee hairstyle.. sharon..fer providing the laughter n fun always... haha. and aloy. fer just being there. dun get to see u ard much these days.love yer dance. haa


so aniway......photos wun b up so soon....................haaa

niway...... i almost fainted on e train yesterday. haha dun ask mi why. secret btw mi n the acksx.which got them freaked out.my bad though...i was a naughty gal. haa haa...ok la not funny.. i was apalled too.and aloy i wun write abt ur embarrasing act too....

class party tmr.... no need bring food. shiwei e chef cooking. kailing is doing nothing but sitting n watch .yay！looking forward to seeing evreyone

haiz...this hols is so short

the dam game is down fer the whole of today!!
hadnt realli been in e mood to blog
i dunno y...... it feels funny blogging abt myself. wat i did fer e day... as if i m reporting to myself wat i did..

i pretty much fill myself wif e same thoughts again....
toking to frends seem to haf make things worse
in e sense that they brought me back to reality
i haf been finding excuses for stuffs to make myself feel better
argh...........................................................i feel screwed up
help!!


but i dun wanta think so much
xmas coming!
does xmas hold ani special meaning?
no it doesnt...not to me


haiz.....................................................................

sian
exams over already....haiz.. hols...nutting much to look forward to
except maybe catching up on my sleep... to try to look less of a zombie... and maybe to resume a less fast paced life...exam period was like fighting with books and time. at least now. i can eat my dinner slowly and watch tv... den maybe play some games. though i broke the disc of my favourite game today.
haha. & i haf gained 2 kg!~ the pants now feel tight! gasp!

so i went to TRIM my hair today
a yr after having a disaster haircut at kimage, where this auntie snip off my hair as if she was on a rampage, the horror lives on as my hair still remains like wat is so called the ruins of a battlefield ..well its a long story. i hate u auntie. i hate u.
well. and i think hair dresser enjoys talking to me. my previous few visits to the salon ended up in chat sessions. so they tell me stuffs like how they dropout of sch, take up hairdressing, and how they like it. and telling me stufff like cherish the time of studying and school because it is still better den work.. i dunno..... maybe when i start work one day. i will reminisce abt sch. but chem eng. i dunno. half way thru the course onli i feel so mentally strained and tired....... i feel like i haf aged...... i dun feel like its something i will want to look back to......

den i was watching sea games... still enjoy watching swimming. but i think i found joy in gymnastic instead.so many chio bu. i think i recognise this gal from nus. chio! and den whenever u watch sports on tv. sure got some got those with the "suay" look. u know they are gonna fall off the beam the moment u see the face. hahaha

ok hols.but i m still at this dam sian mood... dun even feel like shopping or doing anything. the aftermath of weeks of mugging.. i m just gonna hibernate n waste my life away again.........oh well its just on month

haIZzzzzzzzzz

suffocating frm the amt of stuffs to be done
ailenated from the world

crappy lab today
had my embarassing moment again
so it was filtration time
n i ws supposed to collect some slurry
den the tap was tight.after attempting to turn it fer quite some time. n den i lamented. 'aiyo.cannot turn.no strength". so the demonstrator heard me. n offered to help. but it was a rather embarrasing moment. cos after that. this other girl. who is much smaller size than me. turned it effortlessly. and after that. throughtout the whole demonstration. the demonstrator kept laughing at me.

so these days even as i try not to think abt the fact that sch is starting in ONE weeks' time, it appears that it is hard to do so
even as i decide to go shopping, fate has it that i meet NUS people
today,for example, i met ghost girl.ya if u haf forgotten her, she's e one who wears a white drapping dress n walk up n down the aisle of the lecture theatre
no she dun recognise me.duh.but the sight of her seems to send me an invisble msg "HEy ITS ME GHOST GIRL.U ARE GONNA SEE ME IN NUS IN A WEEK TIME"

and den today i realise y some people get hacked to death
u see
my mum n i was waiting fer the bus at the interchange
u know how sumtimes u dun join the queue but just wait at the side when the bus comes
so we waited at the side fer the pple in e queue to get up
n one FAT kingkong guy who looks fugly thought my mum was trying to cut queue
so he yelled"oi queue up lar"
u see. if i were some gangster ah beng or frm the tua pek gong society
he probably wld haf been hacked to death by now

these days
i seem to have abandon the world for my games
let me stay away from reality.....=(

spent new yr wif the ACKSX minus xiuhui at east coast


i m embracing the new yr with dread as usual
mayb bcos i m pessimistic
but also
new year=new semester

lazy to blog
a horribly bad day
the NUS staffs are all so unfriendly
bleah!

niway. went market today. felt a little out of place

n

i hate it when i m nice to pple n they r mean

my new yr resolution
1) study mugg study
2)be nicer to all my friends n love ones
3)lets keep it as that fer the time being

veri lazy to blog
i haf tons of sch stuufs to settle..ho ho ho
xmas eve..spent wif the ah soh gang who wanted to experience the joyous spirit of chritmas
lets see
we went to hooters. haha yes the place i tink aloy will like.
was quite an exciting outing. n doing some catching up with all the ah sohs.ah sohs all getting more n more funky. i tink i shd b the ah soh instead. haha
haha oh n i got stopped by a policeman while driving
hah!! no la. evrey other cars were stopped. they wanted to test if pple drank n drove. of cos. kailing din. she drank fruit juice. haha. but exciting. and weiyi could still tell me" hey the policeman quite gd looking"

things kl will NVR enjoy doing
1)taking photos. i look ghastly. y do i need to take more photos to prove to myself that. haha
2)clubbing. just dun appeal to me. hah i still haven stepped into any of such places yet. not intending to. n henceforth. i will nvr be fond of guys who club.
3) drinking. thou shall nvr touch any alcohlic drinks . i dun care. i just dun drink. i can't drink aniway. i love my fruity hooty fruit juice more can.haha
4)now u see. y nightlife doesnt suit kl. i feel like a bad kid just staying out late. see. boring kl rite. the activity i tink i enjoy most.is sitting n stoning. and oh ya how can i forget. reading newspaper. reading the same few articles over n over.


and sharon. i know u are stalking me. hahaha

veri lazy to blog
i haf tons of sch stuufs to settle..ho ho ho
xmas eve..spent wif the ah soh gang who wanted to experience the joyous spirit of chritmas
lets see
we went to hooters. haha yes the place i tink aloy will like.
was quite an exciting outing. n doing some catching up with all the ah sohs.ah sohs all getting more n more funky. i tink i shd b the ah soh instead. haha
haha oh n i got stopped by a policeman while driving
hah!! no la. evrey other cars were stopped. they wanted to test if pple drank n drove. of cos. kailing din. she drank fruit juice. haha. but exciting. and weiyi could still tell me" hey the policeman quite gd looking"

things kl will NVR enjoy doing
1)taking photos. i look ghastly. y do i need to take more photos to prove to myself that. haha
2)clubbing. just dun appeal to me. hah i still haven stepped into any of such places yet. not intending to. n henceforth. i will nvr be fond of guys who club.
3) drinking. thou shall nvr touch any alcohlic drinks . i dun care. i just dun drink. i can't drink aniway. i love my fruity hooty fruit juice more can.haha
4)now u see. y nightlife doesnt suit kl. i feel like a bad kid just staying out late. see. boring kl rite. the activity i tink i enjoy most.is sitting n stoning.


and sharon. i know u ar stalking me. hahaha

there r justtoo many a times i lament at my own indecisiveness n lack of firmness
dat i alwasy get caught in situation in which i can't seem to find a way out

aniway
its e festive season

merry christmas=0)

HappY BirD-DAY saMUEL

I JUST REMEMBERED YER BDAY TODAY AND HENCEFORTH I M REALLI SORRY to proclaim that i din send u any cards or gift!!! arrgh... but i promise when u return to singapore, ur bird gift willl be awaiting u
haha

excting trip to msia with shiwei jervis n yj
watched chronicles of narnia. i tink we can have the chronicles of johor already.
we kinda explored the place.walked an awful lot. took alot of cab too.special thanks to a sabo kia. haha
hmm actualli the sight of the city of johor was a refreshing change of environment.. but i tink i just dun feel comfortable there.. yea i still prefer good old singapore. haha and somehow it seems pple can recognise u a a singaporean straight away.well just take a walk thur the shops selling vcds.somehow they will know u r a foreigner.and the way of queuing for toilet is also different...haha but movie there is realli cheap.yup so is the food. had a nice dinner of oatmeal with rice. haha it was suppose to be seafood dinner with clayfish,stingray n stuffs but i think the oatmeal appealed to me most.hahaha

fun is over..d day is here. boo hoo hoo guess i will rather not ponder too much....sighz.....

i went kite flying today
haha dun laugh. it was actualli pretty fun. i luv flying kites. 1st time to fly kite. i m so proud of the monkey kite. haha.
been gg out wif u guys so often. but i still enjoyed all the outings=)
cant join u guys tonight to sleep over.. but guess u all wil haf fun toking=P

happy birthday kailing. haha
sian. 20 alr. the big 2. soon. the big 3. ugh. when that time come. i will go tibet to rest in the sanctuary.
niway.
heh was nice seeing u again....i tink we r both pretty weird.haha
aniway.. thnaks to all those who remmebered my bday!=)

and. guess who i met today
SHARON TEO SHIOK HUI. haha miss babe is stalking me. hahaha..hope u guys had fun today..
cant wait to see u all again tmr=P . i wanna see crys eat. haha.

ripped this frm sharon blog. i hate taking photo bcos i dun look gd in them.esp nxt to a photogenic person. haven post the photos at sleepover cos my internet connection in my rm is realli bad... wait a while more !

i hate sun!
in sentosa, pple suntan. i shadetan. i look fer shade to hide.having done biology. i dun love e sun animore. not that i did.
but i figure i cld do with a weeny bit of sun.a teeny bit is healthy.i look kinda pale.

m realli tired......... sigh......
i think time is passing by a tad too fast
mayb when u r occupied.u dun think so much of unhappy n gloomy stuffs. n maybe time pass by faster.

anyway
bought a bdae present fer myself today that cost 30 bucks...
these days...i think i spent more on friends den on myself..... presents this month alone cost 100 plus.

watched e descent today
ok. everyone..STOP bringing mi to watch gory show. haha i pretty much covered my eyes wif my water bottle this time round......=(
hai...this hols is like half gone.....boo hoo.. i m actualli enjoying myself actually...

i feel extremely guilty. cos i was supposed to organise the class party n in e end..shiwei did everything. i did not even bring any food.boo hoo hoo...
aniway.thanks shiwei.for all the effort.yj n e rest fer the bday cake=)..din expect it.

aniway.....a veri terrifying experience tpday
i got lost. u know things r not looking gd when u end up at an unknown place n unknown road wif no cars at 12 am. yes laugh at me. but fer 15 min i panicked. u see. i was supoose to exit at PIE changi airport. so being kailing, i missed it n exit at PIE jurong. for those who drive. u know. how sad this is.n den the nxt nearest exit was i some funny road which i cant even rem the name. so fer 15 min. i drove ard in e dark not knowing where i was. scary la. n den images of the movie saw2 i had watched began to appear in my mind. hahaha.. so dun ask mi how i got home. i must thank the road sign in singapore. easy to follow. haha. btw. i cant use a street directory. all i remebered. was. ending up at goldhill road. i dunno where it is. haiz...

if u receive a present fromme
and its nicely wrapped, den u know it must be mama who wrapped it
been trying to wrap stuffs fer e last half an hour
in e end i got so disgusted i kjust tore the wrapping paper n wrapped anyhow
exciting day tmr!! wee!!!!

a lazy day spent doing nothing
sometimes i think.playing games takes my mind off stuffs.
i m a tad of nonchalant n oblivious to stuffs
when the time comes. we will all know wat to do.
and so fret not my friends.... when u guys are troubled or wat, just play games. hahaha

n i m so out of touch wif everyone.maybe its time to come out of hibernation..... haa



yesterday i think i saw this guy frm my jc class fer e 1st 3 mths.. n being a shy person, i casually pretend not to haf noticed him. thinking he nvr see me la.. haha. this is so kailing's style. and aniway later when he came to tok to me, i had to think hard fer an excuse why i nvr say hi.haha.so embarassing la..

crap aside


n so 6B pple. most prob e gathering is on the 10th.shiwei will confirm wif u all
and u guys better make sure u all bring some food. well unless u all want mi n shiwei to cook. sure thing man. haha.cooking is a piece of cake fer me. i can make roti prata.pineapple tarts. in my dreams.haha. or else we ask debra and yj to make their specialty-ROCK BrOwnies. the one they did at lennard's hse last time.=P

SLEEPY
watched some psychopathic movie saw2.. which left me hiding my face behind the jacket
haha and u thot i was a weird freak. i get freaked out by stuufs like dat too.haa ok i m seeing stars again from the com
lazy to type
haa

ok 9hrs of com games
i m seeing stars again
now at least theres something for me to do during my hols liao.
haven been doing any stuffs. not even shopping. i think i haf a couple of xmas present to buy is it hur? ACKSX? ha lazy to shop....
hols r meant to slack
i admit
i m a boring person
i dun play. i dun party. dun club. dun go out with friends much.dun do sports now. dun watch movie. dun do anithing basically.but mugg.and wat do i do everyday dutring hols? i haf no idea.time juz fly by.


some things in life are meant to b forgotten
and some stuffs.......at one pt or so. it may matter to u. u may put in alot of effort. but sometimes in e end. everything comes to naught.

i m toking in secret language again. haha

ok off to zzz
must wake up early to plaY gaMES

back fer a while
done with onli the core modules
as fer how i think i fare........... just like dat lo.....
very brain dead.......
gonna slack till dinner time
den begin with biology
i love having exams from day 1 to the last day
so that i can prolong the agony of mugging n fully experience the adrenaline rush

see yer all again nxt thur

happy 22nD birthday my dear
although happy seems the least apt

gtg hit e books
shall end off with a fact i realise today
i realise i dun like chocolate. i feel like puking after eating chocolate-y stuff.
n i m seeing stuff from the triangular point of view.thanks to triangular diagram. ur nose. is 45%A,30%S,25%C.

so u all missed mi? hah. i m still alive....barely...with so many stuffs to study...=(

sometimes when im tired of mugging n taking a break.. i drift off to lala land..... dreaming abt stuff...thinking about stuffs...how nice would it be... to be able to roam the world with someone i love... in a foreign land....basking under the sun.... just walking leisurely...strolling by a beach..without worries.... all the carefree-ness.....


to me,managing a relationship is as hard as making my room neat. period.
so if u guys have seen my room before... u know how good i am with it.
though
in terms of difficulty level. not importance

somedays.. , i re-read the newspaper or magazine countless times when i m bored of studying
yup. re read again n again the papers. but only certain articles.
somedays. i jump around the house. other days. i bang the wall.


p.s:bird:trying to make me feel happy? haa i think yer version of smallville is pirated la. i look into the mirror everyday and ask myself:"why oh why do i look so much like a zombie"

take care all.as i embark on a week long fight with books again.

when i was in sec3
i had a chinese teacher who told us
never borrow stuff from people. people dun like it when u borrow stuff from them.and that we should bring our own stuff
den he went on to say how much a stapler bullet can cost . and dat there is no reason to borrow a stapler when u should be bringing ur own
n so. sorry to the 2 guys whom i borrowed a stapler from today

actually i m just VERY irritated bcos. i CAN"t FInd my notes and stuff for revision. well done kl. kl has to be e messiest gal alive dat she just throw her notes at different corners of her room after every few weeks. and so. she pays e price of not knowing where diiferent notes and stuff are. things are weird. u usually can't find something u are searching for. but that thing pops up later when u are not looking for it...... does this apply to certain stuff in life as well??
oh FReak.i give up on hunting. will wait for the notes to pop up.
yup.exams coming
gonna abandon this blog alr......wun be blogging much
take care all.. dun miss me...
see yer all in prob month's time

life is really about coping with dissappointments
things dun alwasy go the way u want them to be.

why i say i m under stress
well.... those who went to jc probably know how much organic chem we studied in the 2 yrs. in NUS, we are suppose to learn all these topics plus new topics,new reactions new mechanism and have them memorised in 3 months. ya u go.. learn before alr wat.shd be quite easy. no. really. no. not when u have over 500 plus pages of text

if i have the $, i would haf gone to the states to study AGRICULTURE. den after that i will live as a farmer. by myself with animals and crops. solitude isnt a bad things. human beings are by far the most difficult creatures one has to live with.



yay exams coming. so much stuffs to study......... yay!!!=) =)

i m e more erratic person ever
my test results goes thru many hill... some day i do very well.some days i just screw everything
my mood goes thru several maxima n minimun.one moment i m happy the nxt moment i act like e world owe me $.

feel like a piece of crap. i m not sure wat it means. just dun feel good.so many things to do.......so little time
beginning to doubt myself........haiz

i HATE sch
had a nice weekend of mugging n meetting up wif aloy crys n sharon.. i miss aloy! ya. i prefer this aloy to the beng beng one too. n sharon: take care babe. crys. cough*bio! will miss yer all.see yer all in decemeber. sob
ya a nice weekend. ruined by school. getting irritated by things n pple.i HATE sch. i dun want to go sch. at least sch is gonna end. i just wanta get away from sch n everyone else.
and now. back to the land of books. other unimportant stuff can wait. Books are wat that matter to me now. other stuff..i shall just leave them aside.
to find comfort in pain

about road hazard
what Do u do when u see an object in the middle of the lane and u cant avoid it?
u go past it. hoping the car goes past it
i tink i mentioned b4
once. while i was driving. i saw a helmet.yup those constrution type yellow helmet in the middle of my lane n much as i tried to avoid it, i couldnt. so the yellow helmet somehow got stuck to the car. and goes plop plop plop with my car for some distance. which freaks me out rather badly since we all know how tough helmet is n i was afraid the helmet will follow me from nus back home via the ecp. luckily someway along the road, the helmet decides to free itself .

today, i drove into a rather huge piece of metal stuff...which i waas afraid wld have punctured my tyre n luckily it din..
toking abt road hazard. i found out theres a cool biodiversity museum in nus. and theres a carcass of a leopard cat that was knocked down along mandai road,whose head was severed and in which the museum pple were NICE enough to pick up the carcass to perserve it. and so u can see its carcass floating in a container of formaldehye in the museum.very cool. n sad actually

anyway theres a plant called the cb plant in ns? i dunno wat it it. but it got this indian guy rather high when the lecturer mentions it



and gals n guy who are somewhat narcissist. NEVEr attempt to take a selfpotrait in the lecture. it looks freaking dumb when pple see u trying to pose to get a nice shot of urself on ur phone. jus ask meaty gal's friend who did that today

yup bio was fun. nxt wk is my last bio lecture. i actualli enjoyed the lectures.


oh ya. i still feel dumb today when i woke up.

Happy birthday poei
Happy birthday aloy


today
i woke up still feeling rather dumb
i think i need to bang my head n wake up frm this state of daze

oh ya i saw a guy who llooks like aloy.. or mayb its just me. i keep thinking pple look alike..esp gals.... hmm...everyone are like clones..... dress sense,hair.skin colour. all rather similar.as fer me. if u think u look like a zombie, well, it means u n me. we are alike.

today is just one of those days i feel extremly dumb and stupid cos i clayed my weekly test fer e first time..... it was a tad of dumbness n complacency i guess..some days u just feel dumb n dunno wat u r doing. i hope this dun happen too often=(
shall be more focused frm now on...

nothing exciting abt sch.
i m becuming more n more critical
but i really cant stand it when pple talk loudly during lectures.
skinny gal.prob less than 40kg with voice that can b heard 3m away. i feel like, turning around to tell her "shut up u tecko".
but i know i cannot be so mean to others.
i know i m mean to people. but i dun want to put on a facade well too. like pretending to be nice or be saccharinely sweet to pple i dun quite enjoy being with. and if i m sad. i dun want to hide it. maybe thats y i am weird.

haiz.
just sian today
need to find some inner peace...................................

the following excerpt is from a feedback about a particular module by some unknown freak

"I got back my weekly test no. 6 recently and felt that the marking was not fair. A comparison with my friends, I realised that there should be 2 markers for the scripts. Of course one was lenient than the other. There were no ticks or any markings by the marker who was more lenient and usually those were the scripts which scored full marks even though their answer to the last question was apparently wrong. My point is though the more strict marker is good as he/she points out our mistakes to us by writing the correct answer on our scripts, nonetheless I felt that it would be unfair for us because these marks are taken into account for our finals. I hope that you would look into the matter and address the problem."



this is how absurb pple can get. they complain about this and that. just a pathetic few weeny marks or so they complain like hell as if it will rob them of their life or wat
u know.. everything goes full circle. and its true that there are 2 markers, one more lenient, the other more strict. but sometimes,depending on luck, u get the lenient marker.BUt by complaining, or rather, giving a feedback, u ENSURE that in e future, markings will all be strict.that is. u suffer too. now WOULd u be complaining if u get the lenient marker n get full marks instead? n each test by the way is only 10 marks. and we have 10 test altogther n we are suppose to take the 6 best out of 10.
u see y i m so sick of sch? pple here are so not cool.
although its not really my problem since i HAVE CLEARED all my 6 tests. (no not all 10 marks la)but still. this is just a example to show how competitive pple in chem eng are.
DAM SIAN. i tell u. i mean not that i m not a mugger or concerned abt my grades. but not to such a kiasu extent. mayb thats y i dun do as well as the rest ?
watever.

i m alr having monday blues when its not even monday
try spending ur weekends with ur lecturer on e computer
doing tutorials. for hours
Beautiful Dawn- but i am chasing time again

life is about grappling with disappointments
how often. do u feel disappointed by things ,people around u, with urself

talked to aloy briefly who is absolutely abhoring army life
i can't say i like the life i m leading right now too

i hate sch.

wat happens when the lecturer tells u there is a mistake in the tutorial n u just ignore it?
u spend half an hour reiterating something that nvr converge. well done kailing

sometimes i really dun know wat i m doing anymore. there are just days. i m blinded by emotions..
sorry to the poor classmate whom i left at com centre
to someone else.....i don't take u for granted...it seems i cant control my emotions well.. although i have been trying to change that..sometimes..its just not easy.maybe i dun show it.....but u r still special to me

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind,
Hold memory close at hand..


more cheerful stuff....=)
poei n aloy bday coming
those who know them.go buy them present
'crap' of the day(by the lecturer)
u know how some animals has certain protective features to guard against predator.. like horns...thorns.. so he showed the picture of a porcupine. n asked. so how does the porcupine 'do' it. that is mate with each other.

don't tell u
n its true.
human are inquisitive. like today i was stoning alone outside some lt, staring intently at the floor behind a vending machine. so this guy who walked past me. who bought a drink, who caught me staring(not at him), turned to look behind to see wat i was staring at. den he saw nothing n turned to look at me.so i just stared at him. he gave me a weird look n walked away.ok i admit. i was staring too intently at the floor

there are many places u can stone at nus. like chinese library. can hide there if u r sian.

organic chem test was ..not very good..did wat i could. dun haf high hopes.. at least i did it on my own. i did not attempt to copy. cos it was in lt n side by side. n i had two smart ones nxt to me.. and i think some pple did copy la..i still have some tinge of intergrity left. (haha i said some, i din say alot k)something i can be proud of. but not so when it comes to results time...

went wif class to clarke quay. ya probably the nightmare of my parents since they think of me as the kind who drinks at clark quay. nah. was just a simple affair of dinner of very delicious fish n chips.. although the guys drank abit . oh well. but i figure if guys dun drink also quite gay la. or rather i mean mama's boy la. no offence.. its some kind of sterotype. i personally wun like guys who drink on a regular basis.

haiz..n i sense wat seemed like a wisdom tooth growing.....die....... sigh......y do teeth give me so much problems.......................................................................
for now
its webcase,tutorials
things dun end sigh

now as mentioned. i sed i will post pic of myself looking like zombie frm resident evil... (this actualli feels freaking bimbotic n narcissist posting my own pics)these are frm a frend called TAX's camera. the veri ghastly pic hidden frm view is me in lab wif a dumb big lab googles. n the rest are takne on a boring fri afternoon.look carefully fer veri awful dark circles. haiz.

taffy/ruggi/taptap n ruggie/lala n taffy

arrrgh organic chem is driving me crazy....i cant seem to get those stuff in my head. I m dead. dead. haiz
it din help i m hit by the sleepy bug.. one moment i m with benzene n the nxt moment i haf drift into la-la land n i find a patch of what seems like drooling on my book. haha just joking la. i dun drool on books! n i woke up at 10 today(haiz) and panicked.(like i say i dun like to waste time sleeping), bang my knee against the bed. sigh...spent 2 hrs on one qn of DISTILLATIONs. gawd. who cares how many stages are there in a distillation column. n 2hrs were spent on nothing beacuse nothing much came out of it. n in e end. i contend myself by putting values n applying some formula with rather profound names. SIGh. sch's is so bland.

i forgot to write about ghost gal. if u all remember her still
in addition to dressing like a ghost,( although this guy friend of mine tells me she has nice boOBs. )she has a ghastly laughter. she goes HEE TEE HEE very loudly each time e lecturer makes a joke.
n let me introduce another interesting character called the opera gal. so called because she put on make up that are thick enough for chinese opera singing.n she always dress like she is gg to chiong. but a rather regretful thing is that she is rather pui, n thus, every fri we see a meat ball n rice dumpling.
ya now u know. when i m stressed. i laugh at others. i m mean. haiz.
n then i keep having nightmares these days. i was wondering. since we derive stuff like proteins n fats from food. den so when one gets eaten up by a shark or a lion, can u imagine urself being digested into fats n proteins... EWWWWU.
niway
see u all nxt thursday. i have to spend my nxt 4 days or so with organic chemistry. i m dead. haiz.

yay! 2 tests nxt week!
i m kinda immune. a tad of nochalant.
everyone everything seems far away


drove to bugis today. bugis's rather boring leh. nothing to look at.so i left in less than an hour. but in less than an hour, the damage was done. cos i ate alot. i dunno. i just keep eating alot these days. but on junk food.

yea i was hit by blue bug the past few weeks...but i guess..talking to pple has helped. n thanks.to friends. who talked to me. who msg me. its funny. how sometimes. the pple i end up whining to aint those who are closest to me n who are beside me.

hmm. no cute guys at bio lecture today. nothing really interesting. all we learnt was naming organism. stuff like homo sapiens..i think some guy named a beatle after Bush and called it something-bushi.
aniway. the cute guys wasnt realli that fantastic also. he was a tad too short.

& aniway contrary to popular belief that engine has a lot of guys, n henceforth u wld expect alot of cute guys, i m sad to announce that no, dun haf. haha. prob jus a small handful..any engineering guys reading this pls dun be sad. u are the small handful=P.
and anyhow. who cares abt cute guys. i have more important agenda on hand. like..... reading mcmurry organic chemistry.epoxides.ether.benzene.kailing.alky halide. miss low. will prob kill me if she knew. how her efforts(remedial classes! haha) has come to nought. n her horror student has now,proven to be disastrous in organic chem again.=(

ok last one. i hoped i haf included everyone.. though i haf left out some intentionally..i juz randomly clicked la. hahaha yea if u press fer e enlarged version. i think the pics look quite ugly..oh well... no more collage. i got bored liao. haa 

haa there are no connectivity in e photos...... juz fer fun la hur... 

dam chio rite! i hate to say this. but lala n tap tap are so chio!! too bad no taffy n ruggie=( 

random pics
from e past.
this collage thing is so cool.
last time i dun look so much like a ghost.
one of these days i shall take a photo of myself now n scare the daylight out of u guys 

because i alr look very terrible n ugly. i dun wish to scare more pple by posting my pics. n so...i din include my individual shots 

feeling down e past few days.
been thinking thru alot of stuffs too.dunno if it has made me feel better or worse. thus explaining fer the extreme mood swings
how much i keep wondering
if i m living it right. doing things i really want to do. and asking myself wat the hell am i doing
and till now i dun haf an answer
sometimes i lament at my own lack of determination. n e inability to take up challenges n risks. like i always so many goals n dreams. but i never set myself up to achieve them

n then this sense of hollowness n emptiness in me. n the life i m leading. its all about books. i cant even remember myself doing anything else other then that. at least in e past, i still train. where have all my time gone to. n its not like i m doing very well in school either. like i said. i mugg to catch up,not to b ahead. i m barely hanging on myself most of the times.pure mugging isnt the kind of uni life i haf wanted or expected.i always wanted some kind of uni life too other than books n just books. but the question is. do i really have the determination to achieve wat i want? m i willing to change the kind of life i m leading.. people always say once u have set ur mind on something, u will be able to achieve it. maybe........... maybe one day. i will try to make a difference. no. not maybe. i will do something abt it. soon. but my enthusiasm probably follow that of a bell shape curve too. i haf to make it into a increasing exponential curve 1st.

sometimes. its really tiring and tough. having so many expectations to live up too. esp that of parents....

and i rembered a few post back where i complained. abt friends, relationship, parents... that i fall short of looking at myself n how i treat them. n i haf to say. i fail very badly in the above roles as well... maybe life is really about learning........ experiences....... i still have so much more to learn.. n i really need to be more open to new ideas n stop living in my own world all the time. be more supportive of others. friends. family. relationship. i need to take into more account the feelings of others when i do or say stuffs........... n that all kinds of relationship.involves giving. not just taking

yea. most of u probably wouldnt understand wat the hell i m getting at..it doesnt really matter..... these days... i blog fer myself.......
the irony is that having said so much, i haf to start some mugging now. yea weekly tests.... n one more point. i need to take things more lightly..........
if i can. i will.

yea
blogger loves me
juz as i feel messed up enuf
i lost a long post

=(
so i m not gonna retype it


aniway. toking abt karma. everything. goes.full circle.
having criticised many unknowns. fer ghastly dress sense. i have friends. who tell mi. my dress sense is too boring. yea. i agree. but it doesnt really matter. honestly since i put on braces. i hadnt care much abt how i look. and might as well look worse. i m gonna b an old hag n scare every guy off. yea n right now. i m in a self created doldrum again. n i dun realli care abt anything in particular.nothing seems to matter. not anymore

anyway. i realise. its actualli pretty easy if one wants to get noticed in engineering.
wear a 11 inch mini skirt n expose meat. haha. n before u know it. u r the object of everyone;s gossip. haha. so if one seeks cheap thrill. go to engineering. or better still. dress like that ghost gal in white. sure get noticed one. haha mayb one day i will do just that. right.

salicylic acid.organic chem. so cool. i made salicylic acid in lab. n i realised today. that a lot of facial pdts contain salicylic acid.

oh great
spend cow years on a crap biochem assginement. dumb veri dumb

yea
fri is cute guy day
we had same open lab together looking at mutant flies
then we took the same lift
and then i found another cute guy in lecture

today;s lecture is more interesting
there was a girl.in white dress knee length.white shoes.drapped with a long white shawl.long hair. u can imagine, she looks like she juz came from fright night.
n then meaty gal if u all still remember exposed her meat again. but i realli shdnt be laughing cos i haf alot of meat too.haha
n den the lecturer is dam crappy. he said u shdnt let a horse point its foot at u.
the reason is lame. cos evolution has it that the foot evolved from its middle toe. so if a horse point its toe at u.its akin to poiinting the middle finger at u.. dumb hur.
but i remember when i was young. i used to like reading abt animals. u know.animal Encyclopedia.. ya. i was weird since young.

slacking time is over
slacked yesterday. tok to all my long lost buddies. i hope my phone bill these days dun die. been making like hr long phone calls.
but i missed everyone. the other day found yip kai's paddle.ok sorry yipkai. i will return the paddle to u. on ur wedding day.
today went shopping..... but i love the stuff i bought. zara has nice t-shirts
n i like faded denim! but i prob wun wear them.to sch. who cares abt sch. i hate sch. i will dress my worse. my auntie wear. my flooding pants to sch. i dun care.
n somehow... i still find this lingering sinking feeling...each time i think abt...sch.sigh

its been one hell of a week
here i m sitting in front of my com
looking at the answer sheet of the test i have just taken.....
as usual. i know. i screwed up. not surprising.
as usual. i m gonna tell myself not to look back n focus on the final exam. n i have tried my best.
but i jus couldnt help but feel extremely demoralised..................and somewhat dumb. no not somewhat. extremely dumb.
and den the tests are over.no big deal
bcos i am behind time for so many lectures.tons of stuff waiting to b done
i need a break...... i feel somewhat zombie-like. disorientated. brain not functioning well.maybe dats y i always clay my tests. not enuf slp. brain not working. but there is no time for rest.
feeling extremly down today. n then i thot of crystal.......... crys u happy not. i think of u when i m sad. u can b my lover alr.
haiz
n den after that i started walking ard nus alone.

haiz
is there anything that can cheer mi up now??
=(